I came across a GREAT book on help with challenging kids. It talks about children who struggle with flexalbility and low frustration tolerance and how to deal with them. It's not the normal model of parenting with rewards or consequences.. these don't work with these kids. There is a reason. It's a developmental disability that can be common for chilren with adhd etc. It's about kids who lack the skills to do well. It's so far has really go results for a lot of people. It takes a bit to get it, but I am willing to try anything. It's called The Explosive Child by Ross W. Greene, PHD.
Curious about anyone having used this, please let me know how it has worked.