sf2688

okay so i have unbearable anxiety about whether or not i love my boyfriend anymore....ironically the only time i can calm myself down is when he is around...and i really don't want to fall out of love with him because hes amazing. the thought of it makes me turn in circles. when he is around, i still feel anxious and i worry about being cold. this OCD is making me a very cold, scared, and nervous person all the time...and its not who i was. before i got diagnosed two months ago, i was happier than ever with my boyfriend. everything was perfect. now i worry hes not the one, that theres maybe someone better..i just cant take it. my parents dont make it better because i know they dont feel hes the one for me even though he treats me amazing...i feel like i want to throw up all the time, and im always pacing when i get nervous. i cant sleep. my school demands leave me with minimal therapy...ive lost a lot of weight...is it always bad the first couple months??? its all so new...Also, i'm taking lexapro and ive been on it for three weeks now, and i dont feel it is helping!!!! i feel the same nervousness....Its not like i get nervous because of a particular situation, i get nervous because of my own brain...i'm scared...i want to be with him......if anyone else is in this situation please...let me know. these forums are the only things keeping me going because its nice to know that people get it ..especially when nobody else does.

Hi, I'm Sarah and I'm 19 yrs old. Two months ago I started having very obsessive thoughts of a specific individual molesting me. I worried about it for forever and avoided all contact with this person. My brain replayed these thoughts over and over so that it left me never wanting to leave my room, Panic attacks, and always feeling scared. I went to a therapist and they said I have the obsessive thought behavior of someone with OCD. I started on Lexapro but I dont feel it has helped yet (i've only been on it for two weeks). The next spike occurred when two girls said they were Gay, i started obsessing about that and what if I was and I felt they were molesting me or going too.... I'm in a two year relationship with a great guy who loves me so much but lately I just feel so numb to everything. I feel numb to him, like I can't love him anymore. My third spike came from a male friend who just gave me a compliment, but his parents and my parents push us dating ALL THE TIME! My brain is going in circles! I think sometimes my relationship would be easier if i was with this person, but Then i feel sick. i wanna be with my boyfriend. I want so much to feel the same way that I used too. I feel sick to my stomach with anxiety all the time, I can't sleep, barely eat.... I feel like I'm walking on eggshells with spikes because as soon as one ends, another begins. I don't know if my thoughts are OCD or ACTUAL relationship problems....I'm confused all the time. Can someone please help? I'm just not happy anymore and it's so unlike me. OCD is controlling my life....