jay55

I know your post is "old" and I hope you have gotten some help with your issues with intrusive thoughts. I just wanted to briefly respond and say I completely Identify with your thoughts (right down to the "new" meanings of words you hear- so have I!) and I believe you are experiencing unfortunately something very typical for many ocd sufferers with this type of symptoms known as intrusive thoughts also called morbid obsessions. Bottom line they suck as you so vividly described- yes as you have guessed I have been diagnosed and treated for ocd- I have had many "garden variety" symptoms and struggle mostly with health obsessions-anxiety and religious scrupulosity (of the Christian persuasion). Its been over 50 years with this stuff and I have had varying degrees of recovery. Anyway a book you may want to check out is called "tormenting thoughts and secret rituals" or "The Imp of the Mind: Exploring the Silent Epidemic of Obsessive Bad Thoughts" and there are several others that you could check out online or at the library or bookstore. Of course the OCA foundation is a good place to visit online as well. I wish you the best, peace and God bless. You are not alone and you are not crazy! p.s. Obsessive compulsive anonymous is a 12 step group over 25 years old and with good success as well.