Fear of Weather

[Suzan]

So I've been pretty lucky so far in that I have not had any instance where I could not get my kids out of the house and to where we need to go. Tomorrow may be another story. dd9 is terrified of weather right now and tomorrow there will be 50% chance of scattered thunderstorms. She wants to rush home if the sun goes behind a cloud or if it's a little dark outside. She's in trip camp so they have a field trip every day. Tomorrow they are scheduled to go canoeing. They say they won't go if it's dark and scheduled to rain and they will find something else to do. dd9 is saying, "what if there is a tornado? what if, what if we are stuck somewhere and can't get to shelter, what if.....". I don't have answers for her becuase stuff like that happens. The camp is dedicated to ensuring they are safe.

 

I've gone over all this with her but she's working herself up into hysteria. She says she refuses to go tomorrow. She's all PANDAS'Y and crying and hurting and is showing all her pandas body language. I am hoping that she will feel better in the morning, but what if she refuses to go? I work and can't leave her home alone (not that she would agree to that anyway). Not sure what I should do here. I am not positive they will treat her like I want her to be treated if she becomes out of control with fear over the weather. But I don't want to start a precidence of keeping her with me if she's scared and I can't really do that with work anyway.

 

For those who have had trouble with anything like this, do you have any thoughts? We are 4 days post IVIG today. I am seeing improvement but this weather fear has gotten worse.

 

Susan

Edited August 17, 2010 by Suzan

[laurenjohnsonsmom]

My youngest daughter (dd11) manifested with severe weather fears at the same time Lauren manifested with her sneezing tic last fall. Audrey has always presented with ocd/irrational fears, etc (no motor/vocal tics).

 

She will get very worked up even when the sun is setting (she thinks the color changing in the sky is a storm and everybody's going to die)! She will work herself to the point where she will physically vomit!

 

Reassurance is the only way we try to deal with it. It always signals us when she does this and her body imagining that she is sick or has been exposed to "something" (chirping like a canary). I'm sorry you're also going through this but I am comforted to know there's somebody else out there experiencing the same thing.

[dcmom]

We need Meg's mom to give you an answer.

 

Here are my thoughts- but I am not sure if it will help you.

 

Weather fears would be ocd. Just as Rome was not built in a day, ocd fears are not conquered in a day- unfortunately. Sending a kid with major weather ocd to camp and a canoeing trip with thunderstorms lurking in the vicinity- if she hasn't worked up to this- seems like too much.

 

I think one discussion of her fears, with you giving her the facts about what the real and not so real dangers are is important. I think you telling her the camp puts safety first, and maybe getting the camp director in on this conversation would be helpful. Beyond that, if she asks for re assurance, I would tell her that you have discussed this already.

 

I also think she needs a plan. Maybe she has to go to camp- but if she really can't do the canoe trip- is there another option? Going to camp in a thunderstorm is likely a good step. If you luck out there may be no thunderstorm, or they will totally clear.

 

I wish I could offer more advice, this is so rough, and I have been in this type of dilemma so many times- late at night wondering how we were going to deal tomorrow.

 

If checking in on her at camp on an early lunchbreak is a possibility- that might help- we have done that type of stuff before.

 

Good luck!

[Suzan]

Sending a kid with major weather ocd to camp and a canoeing trip with thunderstorms lurking in the vicinity- if she hasn't worked up to this- seems like too much.

 

You said a lot of good things, thank you, although this quote struck a cord since this came upon me suddenly, I agree, it seems like too much. I've known about her fear of weather for a while now but it has not been to this extreme so I feel unprepared. I hope this is part of her healing process with the IVIG but I guess it's hard ot know.

 

I will talk with the leader tomorrow to see if there is another option. My hope, oddly enough, is that it is raining so badly that they have to stay at the center. I know she will be OK if they can't go anywhere. I think anyway, they had a tornado scare a few weeks ago, that is probably what is fueling this and they had to go into the bathrooms for safety. It is common talk between my girls lately about where the ditches are as we are driving around town where we would run to if a tornado were to come our way.

 

laurenjohnsonsmom, it is comforting to know we are not alone with the weather fears. With it being so unpredictable, it is hard to set expectations. She likes routine so I'm sure this is why it is so difficult for her. She gets very angry at the poor weather man when weather is predicted incorrectly.

 

Susan

Edited August 18, 2010 by Suzan

[Megs_Mom]

Oh, Susan - I know how that feels! It's so hard to know that a major issue is on the horizon and you are heading right towards it. Dcmom is right - it's not the sort of thing that you can develop tools to deal with overnight. But once a child is on a medical treatment plan - especially if you think you have chronic PANDAS (and possibly other autoimmune involvement) then it might be a good time to help them to develop some tools to deal with the OCD and Panic.

 

I am always amazed at how grateful kids are when they start to understand how their brain works, and how with medical treatment and with some powerful little brain tools - they can begin to win the war and beat up some of the OCD. Have you ever read "what to do if your brain gets stuck"? This might be helpful - but the best place to start would likely be with a good OCD therapist who does CBT and ERP. There are quite a few in the Charlotte area now, if you need any recommendation. It won't be a cure, since they have PANDAS, but it might help them (and you!) deal with episodes and blips. I think OCD does not just rule the child's life, it can rule the entire family's!

 

Fear of weather/tornados was one of Meg's earliest severe issues - she would run screaming from one window to the next, in terror that the trees were falling on us and that she'd be left alone (apparantly I was the one that was going to be nailed by the tree!!! ) Even a jet flying overhead would send her into a panic. She would beg her dad to turn on the weather report. It was awful, as has been every OCD issues we've had along the way. We tried logic and reassurance, and that did nothing for her fear. This was back in the days when we did not have medical treatment for her - but she always tells people with great pride that "she killed the weather worryman". She did it with persistence and slow baby steps in ERP therapy.

 

I'll be thinking about you tomorrow - hope this crazy weather lets up soon! I think the next 7 days or so are pretty calm - so that should help a little!!

Edited August 18, 2010 by Meg's Mom

[Suzan]

 

I am always amazed at how grateful kids are when they start to understand how their brain works, and how with medical treatment and with some powerful little brain tools - they can begin to win the war and beat up some of the OCD. Have you ever read "what to do if your brain gets stuck"? This might be helpful - but the best place to start would likely be with a good OCD therapist who does CBT and ERP. There are quite a few in the Charlotte area now, if you need any recommendation.

 

Thanks Meg! We do have WTDIYBGS, have not gotten all the way through it but I had sort of forgotten about it. She really liked getting those skills but rarely puts them into play. I need to work with her more on it. I talked to her about it this morning, got her to laugh a little at OCD, told her about Meg so she'd know she's not alone. Luckily the weather is not looking as bad as yesterday said it would be. She's still asking if hse has to go but I think she will go, but it will be tough this morning.

 

I'm resistant to go to a specialist since the one I did see didn't think he could help us. But her OCD at that time was not bad and he was overwhelmed by just learning about pandas from me I think. Anyway, right now we are overwhelmed with my physical therapy appts, allergy shot appts, school starting, crazy work, I don't have enough time in the day to schedule everything. I will seriously consider it though once all my appts die down.

 

Susan

[Megs_Mom]

 

I am always amazed at how grateful kids are when they start to understand how their brain works, and how with medical treatment and with some powerful little brain tools - they can begin to win the war and beat up some of the OCD. Have you ever read "what to do if your brain gets stuck"? This might be helpful - but the best place to start would likely be with a good OCD therapist who does CBT and ERP. There are quite a few in the Charlotte area now, if you need any recommendation.

 

Thanks Meg! We do have WTDIYBGS, have not gotten all the way through it but I had sort of forgotten about it. She really liked getting those skills but rarely puts them into play. I need to work with her more on it. I talked to her about it this morning, got her to laugh a little at OCD, told her about Meg so she'd know she's not alone. Luckily the weather is not looking as bad as yesterday said it would be. She's still asking if hse has to go but I think she will go, but it will be tough this morning.

 

I'm resistant to go to a specialist since the one I did see didn't think he could help us. But her OCD at that time was not bad and he was overwhelmed by just learning about pandas from me I think. Anyway, right now we are overwhelmed with my physical therapy appts, allergy shot appts, school starting, crazy work, I don't have enough time in the day to schedule everything. I will seriously consider it though once all my appts die down.

 

Susan

Your girls are such smart resiliant kids - maybe just practicing the skills at home will be enough for her to cope! Good luck - glad to hear this morning is kind of calm. We did it at home for a long time, until a major episode overwhemlmed us (untreated at that time). now that we are treated, and have practiced a lot, so far, we have never needed any help for blips - just pull the book back out, review a skill, and off we go. (we went through a bunch of darn therapists before we found the right one - you may want to leave all the PANDAS to the side & just ask for tools to use with OCD behaviors. I have yet to find anyone that can help us with it ALL - I'm the "case manager" and we have a team of professionals to help us). Pain in the butt to find the time - I am with you on that!

[Suzan]

She went! She found out that the canoeing would happen in the morning and the afternoon she'd be in the skating rink. I had given her advil and L-Theanine and I think that helped calm her. I am so proud of her, and so happy that it was not a bad situation. I don't know what would have happened if it had been a stormy morning. I better keep working with her on that since it's bound to happen.

 

Susan

[airial95]

She went! She found out that the canoeing would happen in the morning and the afternoon she'd be in the skating rink. I had given her advil and L-Theanine and I think that helped calm her. I am so proud of her, and so happy that it was not a bad situation. I don't know what would have happened if it had been a stormy morning. I better keep working with her on that since it's bound to happen.

 

Susan

 

That's great news!! I'm happy she was able to go and enjoy her camp day. It's amazing the timing of these posts. My son has never had any real "fears" that he's expressed - although it's hard to tell, he was dx at 2, and is just about to turn 3 so most of his OCD resulted in meltdowns because he couldn't/wouldn't tell us what he was afraid of, or what was "wrong" or "broken", (eventhough he's been fully conversational since he was 16 months).

 

As he's gotten better, he's able to tell us (often in a panic though), that the door, breakfast, etc.. is "broken" and such as opposed to just a massive freak out.

 

He often talks about the weather, and the rain (he loves to use his umbrella). However, yesterday morning, as we were getting ready to leave for day care, he curled up to me, asked me to carry him and was practically in tears (sad tears, not rage tears). I asked him what was wrong, and he said he was afraid, of what - "the rain". He was nervous and teary the whole way to school, and all the way into his classroom - afraid of the rain (we live in FLA, so it was sunny yesterday, but we do get those afternoon showers during the summer). By the time I had to go, I just decided not to leave him and take him to the pediatrician cause he was also shaking (I assumed from being so scared) - and sure enough - he had strep!

 

I'm glad to know that this is "normal" OCD behavior. (Never though I'd type that sentence! )

[Suzan]

A little update, she's still having me check the weather, but she's much more calm about the rain and thunderstorms! She told me today she's starting to feel better and is not as freaked. Maybe her IVIG is kicking in? Maybe working through her fears and going to camp anyway instead of staying home helped her to see that she can do it and be OK. Maybe a combination of both. I hope so. I guess I just wait and see how it goes.

 

Susan