Anyone Have PANDAS and have children as well

[alderliefest]

I have a 2 and 1/2 year old and every day is a struggle for me to deal with my anxietys and take care of my little one. I was wondering if there was anyone out there in the same boat and if there is how you deal with it. I have a hard time being alone with her I'm always afraid she is going to get sick and I won't be able to take care of her because I would be so scared, its happened a few times and luckily someone has been home or near that they could come be with me, but that won't always be the case

[momto2pandas]

Hi there,

 

What you're dealing with sounds very hard. I have PANDAS and have 2 kids with PANDAS. Luckily, at this stage, we are all only mildly affected, but we all had episodes simultaneously last fall and that was very hard. It is so hard to deal with seeing your kids sick to begin with; it is even harder when your own emotions get out of whack and make you liable to overreact. It's hard under any circumstances when your kids are acting like brats (sorry to use the word, but you all will know what I mean); it's even harder when you're wound way too tight and have a hard time reacting in the measured way you'd like.

 

From your post, it sounds like you are a single Mom? Do you have a good support system of people you can call? If not, maybe it would be a good idea to find a Moms Club to join, to build a network of people who really know you and your child, so that they can "take over" for a few hours when things get very hard for you? All Moms need that sometimes. At 2 1/2, your daughter is probably also old enough to enjoy some preschool, so that you can get your breathers and have other people share in her care, and know that she is having fun.

 

One thing that will help - as kids get older, they become much, much better at articulating what's going on with them and need less worrying over when they get routine sicknesses. It's normal to get scared when your babies get sick, because it's hard to know how bad it is or what you need to do. But even by the time they're 3.5 or 4, it gets much easier. When really sick, mine pretty much sit in front of the boob tube, drink juice, and convalesce.

 

The other thing that has helped me through the years has been to come up with "action plans" for situations so that I don't have to make decisions on the spot. For example, if X happens, you call person Y for help - no questions asked. It has to be a plan that you know is smart and rational and that you'll have confidence in sticking to even if you "freak out" for some reason. For me, a lot of those plans have revolved around not making big rash decisions, saying things that would jeopardize relationships, etc. when I've known I was having a hard time. Then I've just kept kind of a mantra about sticking to the plan even when stuff has happened that I would otherwise (over)react to. For a lot of my younger years I had really bad PMS, and I had a standing plan that I would not under any circumstances break up with my boyfriends or quit my jobs/school between the 26th and the 30th of the month, no matter how much I might want to. Sure enough, once the PMS passed, I would be thankful that I had stuck to the plan and not done anything irrational even though it seemed to make sense at the time. I also had a recurrent pattern of "going PANDAS" when I got sick, so I had a standing plan not to ever make significant decisions or undertake any other high-stakes endeavors when I had a sore throat. Sounds silly, I know - but it worked for me.

 

There is a lot of support here on this board, too, so keep on joining in!

 

 

 

I have a 2 and 1/2 year old and every day is a struggle for me to deal with my anxietys and take care of my little one. I was wondering if there was anyone out there in the same boat and if there is how you deal with it. I have a hard time being alone with her I'm always afraid she is going to get sick and I won't be able to take care of her because I would be so scared, its happened a few times and luckily someone has been home or near that they could come be with me, but that won't always be the case