I'm bothered by sexual thoughts/fantasies

[Inneedofhelp2324]

I am a 30 year old male. I would say my sexual orientation my whole life has been straight. I have had several girlfriends over the past 14 years and sex was always great. I have a child through one of these instances.

 

During the past 10 years of my life I get these thoughts. They are more or less homosexual in nature...It occurs mostly when I am laying in bed about to go to sleep. My mind becomes a big pornographic stage and these situations start to play. I try to control them by switching them around. I try to counter act these thoughts of homosexuality with thoughts of heterosexuality but the draw back to that is ...I end up in a full blown fantasy which then I can not sleep. Some times these situations can be reoccurring over and over again. The details are always the same.

 

I am in no way attracted to men. I have never felt the actual desire to go out and bring these thoughts into real life. These thoughts do not turn me on. They more or less concern me. I never wanted to actually go out and have sex with men. I do not question my sexuality ...I mean I've only ever been with women...and I believe I am just not a man's type of man if you catch my drift.

 

...I have even spent hours and hours trying to desensitize myself to sex by spending hours looking at various different images around the internet for the most part it works. I end up feeling disgusted and all goes away for a while.

 

But then it happens at times where I am sexually hungry. I have a girl friend currently and we just don't have sex...we have in the past...but she has issues with herself that keeps sex off the table. I try to understand and do what she wants but it is hard. When we had sex life was normal. I didn't have these obsessive thoughts nor did I have the need to fantasize. None of these homosexual thoughts or heterosexual fantasies lead to masturbation. I very rarely feel the need to masturbate.

 

 

Recently these thoughts have become very intense ...the past 3 weeks. My Dr. recommended me to take St. John's wart because I have anxiety. I haven't had any anxious episodes at all in 2 weeks so the St. John's Wort seems to be helping. I think that being anxious curbed these thoughts in away …because these thoughts were never this intense when I was anxious.

 

My mind races into sexual overdrive every night. And I can no longer control it. I just do not know what to do. Should I stop taking the St. John’s Wort and just live with being anxious?

[sarge]

I am a 30 year old male. I would say my sexual orientation my whole life has been straight. I have had several girlfriends over the past 14 years and sex was always great. I have a child through one of these instances.

 

During the past 10 years of my life I get these thoughts. They are more or less homosexual in nature...It occurs mostly when I am laying in bed about to go to sleep. My mind becomes a big pornographic stage and these situations start to play. I try to control them by switching them around. I try to counter act these thoughts of homosexuality with thoughts of heterosexuality but the draw back to that is ...I end up in a full blown fantasy which then I can not sleep. Some times these situations can be reoccurring over and over again. The details are always the same.

 

I am in no way attracted to men. I have never felt the actual desire to go out and bring these thoughts into real life. These thoughts do not turn me on. They more or less concern me. I never wanted to actually go out and have sex with men. I do not question my sexuality ...I mean I've only ever been with women...and I believe I am just not a man's type of man if you catch my drift.

 

...I have even spent hours and hours trying to desensitize myself to sex by spending hours looking at various different images around the internet for the most part it works. I end up feeling disgusted and all goes away for a while.

 

But then it happens at times where I am sexually hungry. I have a girl friend currently and we just don't have sex...we have in the past...but she has issues with herself that keeps sex off the table. I try to understand and do what she wants but it is hard. When we had sex life was normal. I didn't have these obsessive thoughts nor did I have the need to fantasize. None of these homosexual thoughts or heterosexual fantasies lead to masturbation. I very rarely feel the need to masturbate.

 

 

Recently these thoughts have become very intense ...the past 3 weeks. My Dr. recommended me to take St. John's wart because I have anxiety. I haven't had any anxious episodes at all in 2 weeks so the St. John's Wort seems to be helping. I think that being anxious curbed these thoughts in away …because these thoughts were never this intense when I was anxious.

 

My mind races into sexual overdrive every night. And I can no longer control it. I just do not know what to do. Should I stop taking the St. John’s Wort and just live with being anxious?

HI mate

 

you should never seek to live life anxiously we all get this at times when we are stressed feeling unwanted unloved or sexually frustrated.

This may seem a silly question have you sat down with your partner and spoke about her problems fully explaining what is happening for yourself as males we are preconditioned that we do not talk about our problems we will sort them we have to be strong however this is a very dangerous place to be...as for your fantasies, there is no question of your own sexuallity these thoughts are there for everyone whether the accept it or not, it is good that you try to change your thoughts onto other things have you tried when these thoughts appear changin your thinkin full stop from sexual thinkin to something else, seekin images on the internet however to change a sequence in your fantasies from male to female is very harmful and can cause big problems for yourself aswell as your partner...although she may not show it or tell you (i apologise for having to say that)

however searching for this material can also cause other problems as you become desensatised to the images you are veiwing to change your pattern of thinkin from men to women you will inevitably go on to stronger images along with this you may be downloading images you yourself are unaware are there because of pop ups unfortuanltely with this sort of thinking there is a legal side to it aswell however I will stress again we will go through these thoughts and feelings you are not alone and many people can help.

It sounds with your on anxiousness and your partners problems you are being pulled into a routine which you can get out of.

if the doctor is only prescribing st. johns wart and it is working for you stick to that but please find someone a friend family member or professional person you can sit and talk your worries through with...the thing gonna be helpin you through this aswell is as you have stated you come away disgusted with yourself however you are having to repeat the process.

 

there are ways of dealing with it which I my self have had to learn from hurtful experiences now i would like to help people not go down the same route that i went down and have tolive with that shame and guilt