Are these ocd symptoms?

[Katelyn]

Hi I’m new here. I was wondering if anyone with ocd could tell me if my symptoms sound like ocd. I’m an extremely neat person. Everything has to be perfect. I can relax though once and a while and not worry if my bed is made or that something is out of place. Usually when I’m stressed I get what I call an ocd attack but I’m not sure if that’s what they really are. I feel like my skin is crawling and I feel like everything that isn’t perfect is bothering me. I will go into a cleaning rampage. It usually doesn’t make me feel better. I will feel like my carpet has unseen dirt in it. (I’m not afraid of the germs in my carpet but upset my carpet has unseen dirt) I might also pick at my skin or start reorganizing everything. There are two other forms of theses attacks. One is when I’m sculpting at night and I get frustrated. I will feel like there isn’t enough light. I will feel like I have to walk around my house and get in the brightest light. The light will never feel bright enough. The other attack is one where I will repeatedly go over a conversation I had with someone in my head or an event that happen. Nothing bad might have happen but I will keep repeating it because I feel like something I did might have been wrong. This year I just started making a sound when I have these thoughts. Everything I read about ocd says you can’t have any positive aspects to ocd. I also have goal obsessions and object obsessions. I will get a project idea in my head and not be able to think of anything but doing it. I will feel kind of wired but in an excited good way. If I don’t get to start the idea right a way I will feel anxious though and depressed. If I’m having any of these thoughts I won’t be able to sleep and I’m not interested in eating. I will loose track of time and have complete focus on what I’m obsessing over. I feel like this is a positive side to ocd (if that’s what it is) because I need to focus and have a devotion to my work. I am also a list maker and plan every aspect of my day and my future. I can’t do anything spontaneous without having anxiety and obsessing that it wasn’t in my day plan. I wouldn’t want to stop the organizing, planning, and good obsessing. I just really hate the part where I repeatedly go over conversations and events in my head. Oh the one other symptom I heard was linked to ocd was violent thoughts. Once in a while I will be sitting on a train or in class and imagine someone in the room get up at start killing everyone. I know it irrational but I get scared for a moment. I don’t watch any horror movies or anything with violence. I also worry about my family members dying while I’m at school. I don’t usually repeat these scenarios in my head. They just pop up at odd moments. Thanks for your help, Katelyn