Response to other kids about a tic or noise they a making?

[Lkaanda]

My son is 9 and has had PANDAS for a couple years now. His tics come and go and change. Most of the times, kids either don't notice, or don't say anything to him. Today a girl in his class asked him why he was making the throat clearing noise he has been making lately. It's more of a throat clearing with a higher pitched squeaking sound, so it's pretty noticeable. When l asked him what he said, he replied that he said nothing and stopped doing it. I am sure he may have been able to stop, but not for long.

 

I am trying to figure out what is the easiest thing for him to say to his peers, if they ask him about a tic. What do your kids say? We have never had to get to the point of needing to come in and have a special talk with the class to explain things. Thanks for any help you can give us.

[cara615]

Ha! We just had to deal with this. DS is 6 and he has some head nods right now and one of his classmates asked him why he was "doing that" with his head and my DS said "stop asking questions!!" LOLOLOLOL

 

I couldn't stop laughing when he told me. My kid is no nonsense. LOL

 

But if I could draft a good response to this question, I would tell your DS to say that he has allergies and his allergies are causing him to clear his throat.

 

I know that may not be good for everyone but I think since so many kids have allergies these days, its pretty "cool" to have them and then no-body asks any more questions.

 

what do you think?

[Mayzoo]

Your son could compare his tics to the other person blinking or breathing:

 

"You do not control or think about blinking or breathing, and I do not control or think about it when I clear my throat." He could expand more if he is comfortable with it, or just leave it at this explanation.

 

Factual, to the point, and hopefully resolves questions. Of course, biologically these are not the "same" thing, but it still may resolve the questions.

Edited September 4, 2014 by mayzoo

[Lkaanda]

I think we will try saying its an allergy and if they press him for why he can't stop, then he could mention the idea of comparing it to blinking. Thanks for your advice!

[chubbermommy]

I'll ask my son, who is 10, what he says. He's in a class with different kids this year; the kids in his class last year kind of went on this journey with him since he started ticcing last September. But he's had to explain himself to some of his classmates. Although he's fairly comfortable around them since he's known most of them since kindergarten/grade 1. I know over the course of this past year he's talked about it many times with other kids. I remember him telling me he told his friends he had PANDAS and they all laughed (him included) b/c it's kind of a funny name. I'll let you know tomorrow.

[NYCMom]

Our son is very upfront about his PANDAS. If anyone asks about his tics he says "its a tic" explains PANDAS to them. We've tried to be very transparent with our kids and with those around us. It seems to be working out well, our son is extremely social and has no issues talking about his condition with kids or adults. You'd be surprised at how quickly people stop focusing on it once they're given an explanation.

[airial95]

_{My son is 6, in 1st grade. He moved up this year with 7 other classmates, so his grunting tic that came back over the summer is nothing new for them. So he hasn't had problems in class. They all know about "Harvey" (what he calls his OCD/PANDAS). But the other day he said that an older kid said something about it in car line to him. I could tell it bothered him because he told me "Mommy, I know my grunting annoys you and daddy, but it annoys me too. I wish I could stop" (at which point I asked where these feelings were coming from, we aren't annoyed, just worried, etc...and that's when he said an older kid said something).}

 

_{I asked how he responded - he said (quite confidently according to a teacher standing near by) "It's one of my tics, it's just what I do" and just turned around and kept talking to his friend. The older kid didn't say another word.}

 

_{I think that the kids being able to answer confidently - regardless what the tic or the answer is - is huge. It shows them that there is nothing for them to be embarrassed about, and it shows a potential bully that they are not looking at an easy target.}

[Lkaanda]

My son is pretty quiet and not so assertive, so we will have to work on him feeling confident enough to say something. Because its the first time he is being asked he is concerned about it. He has woken up the past couple school days very teary, worrying about someone talking to him about it. Luckily they are not being mean, just inquisitive as kids are. Thanks again for the advice, it's nice to hear from other parents who understand what we are going through!