School avoidance

[cobbiemommy]

As some of you may know, my son has really struggled with beginning middle school (6th grade). Today, he just broke down and started bawling and sobbing in front of the school and begged me not to make him go inside. He says it's too much walking, noisy, he's tired, and the teachers expect too much from him. He does all of the schoolwork for me at home, so it is not really work avoidance-it is truly school avoidance. He seems to need a lot of reassurance and hugs right now.

 

He doesn't seem to mind that he can't watch tv, play computer, wii, or ds while he is home. He will help me with chores, read books (not something he usually likes to do), and run errands. He said he would rather have his blood drawn than go to school. OUCH!!!

 

His feet and lower legs are really hurting from combination of Bactrim and Rifampin. His attention span is shot and he is so argumentative right now. I think he went through a horrible herx from Babesia and Bartonella. He talks of running away and how his life is so horrible and it's never going to get any better. Very depressed.

 

On the flip side, his principal said she was very firm and no nonsense and she got compliance from him. He came out yesterday as happy as can be. His dad can also get him to do things that I can't, but he is already gone in the mornings when I am trying to get him ready for school.

 

Talked to LLMD, he recommended taking an antiobiotic rest for a week, (we are), and upping his dose of Zoloft to achieve better brain penetration. We have an appointment with pediatrician to change Zoloft amount and see about some adhd meds for attention. I know Bart causes adhd, but if we could even take the edge off, it might help. Found out I can home school "part time" and send him to the middle school for such classes as science and physical education.

 

I'm as big a mess as my son at this point, so any input would be wonderful.

[smartyjones]

Today, he just broke down and started bawling and sobbing in front of the school and begged me not to make him go inside.

 

He doesn't seem to mind that he can't watch tv, play computer, wii, or ds while he is home. He will help me with chores, read books (not something he usually likes to do), and run errands. He said he would rather have his blood drawn than go to school. OUCH!!!

 

HOn the flip side, his principal said she was very firm and no nonsense and she got compliance from him. He came out yesterday as happy as can be. His dad can also get him to do things that I can't, but he is already gone in the mornings when I am trying to get him ready for school.

 

 

hi cobbie. i think i've thought before our dss have similar issues -- but i think mine is younger -- 7. we have school avoidance issues also.

 

first, i don't think he's playing you -- i don't think it's that simple -- too bad it's not. i don't think a 6th grade boy wants to be bawling and sobbing in front of the school! second, i do believe the principal and your dh may get compliance. the truth is likely somewhere in the middle. can you use the principal and your husband and you to work a plan that is in the middle -- your understanding of the hold the anxiety has on your son and their hard line?

 

for my ds, crossing the threshold of the door holds so much power. the first week was troublesome. the 2nd, i walked in with him -- i got a 'contact adrenaline rush' from walking next to him. 5 feet from the door until 5 feet inside it, i could feel the intensity. when in the class, he's fine and participates much. middle of the 3rd (last week), i felt a drop in that adrenaline. this week, he's dropping my hand soon after the door.

 

do you work ERP plans with your son? i've found much help from anxietybc.com.

[cobbiemommy]

We started the opposite way. He walked into school the first week, no problem. He was excited to go. He was good to go to get all his supplies, clothes, etc. But, the longer he took the Bactrim, the worse the situation. I don't know if we have unleashed some sort of Babesia herx or what...

 

Thanks for the thoughts...