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ds8's aunt is a staph carrier in her nose or is it strep....plus

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My ds8 has an aunt (dh's sister) who told me when my ds8 was born, that she was tested for many things, and is a strep carrier. With all the stuff that happened to my ds8 last year, and all of my freaking out about strep, finding him antibiotics, and those unbelievable tics and behaviour changes, she stopped talking about medical stuff with me. We went to her house b/c of a gm's birthday, and this aunt offered my son a glass of juice, and then proceeded to take a sip from it, and then she handed it back to him. I walked in and saw it, and told him not to accept it. She asked why, and I said that I don't want him getting sick again like last year. I said that she is a strep carrier, and I am worried. (Actually, during Christmas, she kissed my ds8, and he got a fever, and I immediately gave him antibiotics....fearing the worse).


Anyways...about the juice in the glass...she was very upset with me. She said that she didn't want to waste the juice, and that she carries staph in her nose...and if I am so worried about stuff that I should get my kid's adenoids removed. She also said that it is not good to be so paranoid about stuff....b/c it is not good for my son to see me fearing germs...he can become a germaphobe.


Well...my ds8 told me that he wasn't going to say anything to the aunt about her drinking from a glass of juice and then giving it to him...and was going to come outside to tell me. You see, every since I saw an unbelievable change in my ds8 in the latter part of the school year 2009-2010 (fears, writing just stopped being legible, constant bathroom, odd behaviour problems that never existed before, and wild body tics) I have stopped sharing food with my ds. The rule in my house is that we cannot double dip if ds is eating it too. We do not share drinks from the same glass etc. I don't taste the food and then give it to him with my saliva on it. Why? Well...I often get sinus issues, I get throat things, I get ear infections, and there is this ear nose and throat link.


So...I am just wondering what you all think about what happened with ds's aunt. It was left very awkward. She acted as if there is something seriously wrong with me, because I told her that my son wasn't going to drink out of the same glass that she took as sip of, and then handed to him. She eventually poured another cranberry juice for him, and directed my ds8 to give the other juice and glass to one of her brothers.


I know that after experiencing what I did with my ds last year, I am constantly on guard I suspect that many of you can relate. I worry about the food that he eats, and let things slide a bit sometimes, and wonder if that had to do with it. The many months following his demise, I became so fanatical about him cleaning his hands, and taking his temperature, and asking whether he had a sore throat, and I stopped having play dates at my house, for fear that sick children with strep would come over...instead opting to have a play date in the park with a bunch of kids and parents. You know what...I learned that if you invite someone over for a playdate, some parents will send their sick children to your house for that playdate! Wow! After doing many many weeks of antibiotics that suddenly brought my child back to almost normal again...I have become afraid of stuff.


Am I a real worrier? Yes...definitely. I have really relaxed more this year, since things have been going well throughout the summer until recently. As you can see from one of my posts, I am trying to figure out why his tics are returning. It is probably a combination of stuff. It might even be something that I didn't include, which is that I have become more relaxed this summer compared to last summer, and not forcing him to wash his hands or use something to kill bacteria before he eats in the car or during soccer. Last year, I carried many many things with me all the time, and insisted on cleanliness. I even bought his classroom that touchless soup dispense along with many many soaps and rechargable batteries, so that the kids could be excited about being clean.


Anyways...just wondering how paranoid I am compared to you re: the aunt situation. My son explained that he would have just told me outside, and the aunt would not have known. Glad he is on top of stuff, but kids can make mistakes too. I just happened to walk into the house from the backyard party, to find her sipping it and handing it to him, saying it's ok. I saw the look on his face, and asked what is going on, and she laughed and told me that she took a sip because she felt like having some.


I feel like I am so alone! Am I losing it or what? Do others find something like that rude too, in addition to not being hygenic? I can't really blame her, because my mother in law takes a sip of coffee, and offers you some, out of the same cup...which of course I don't accept... My mother in law also used to invite us over for dinner, and whatever we did not eat, she would scrape off, and put it into a container, and then she would either freeze it for another time, or give it to one of her other grown kids for their dinner... like gnoccies and meatballs for example. I remember telling my brother that, and he vowed never to eat at her house. I don't know....I find it odd. I don't have the perfect family either, but I am just talking about these issues right now.


So...can't blame auntie, but still find it troubling. The staph carrier thing is worrisome. The fact that she used to say that she was a strep carrier, and now says that it is staph after my freak out with strep.... is interesting as well.


Would appreciate your perspective.



ds8s mom

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Yes - I think you're paranoid - but that's not a bad thing. :D


We're all paranoid. As for drinking after the aunt, I would've responded the same way. And if she was touchy about it, that's her issue. You're doing what you can to kepp your kid helathy. No need to be apologetic or feel bad about that.


Personally, I was teaching my kids not to share snacks, drinks utensils, etc...even before our son had PANDAS. In my personal opinion it's just common sense. Prior to PANDAS, we weren't as obsessive about it when the kids would share with each other, or us personally, but absolutely if it was someone outside of the four of us.


Since PANDAS - we are just as obsessive as you are. Our son is only 3 and his sister is 5, so it's a job to stay on top of them and make sure they're not swapping juice boxes.

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I think it is appropriate to request that a family member or anyone else refrain from sharing anything at any time. Given our kiddo's diagnosis, I would expect for people to understand. Even if they did not have PANDAS, who wants their kid exposed to potential illnesses? I also tought my son not to share food/drink prior to the PANDAS diagnosis. Even if someone is not a "carrier", they could be coming down with something but be in the incubation stage of it and inadvertently pass it along. In addition, I know of reports from parents who say that just being in the same room with someone who is a carrier of Strep can cause their PANDAS diagnosed kiddo to have a flare-up!


I know from personal experience that it can be almost harder to manage this type of thing with family members than with friends or even strangers. Maybe if you set aside some time to meet with her alone and have a quiet talk - you could explain your fears and perhaps she might understand?

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I can totally relate to you and your feelings. It is just the realilty of how our lives are :(


My kids recently spent the weekend at Grandmas. Before they left I went over all of the specific instructions. I have also been very verbal in the past about germs etc.

My daughter called me the second day there and said she was sleeping in Grandma's bed with her. Grandma has not been tested to see if she is a strep/staph carrier. Of course I had a flush of panic, and my husband thinks I am worrying about nothing. He says you can't be worried over every person they come in contact with, but that's the thing....I can and I will.


I did not say anything to her because I was kind-of in shock, and didn't know what/and how to say anything to her in that moment without hurting her feelings. She was trying so hard on all of the other issues...germs, diet, etc. But I will definatly bring it up in the future.


I also feel so alone in the fact that no matter how much I tell them what we need to do, they don't understand the seriousness of it. But, I think unless they are really in the trenches with our kids while they are going through this, they don't really "get it" as much as they try.


My one good friend finally got it when I told her when your kid gets sick they can get over it, when my kids get sick it starts an assault on thier body and brain.


I have learned that I definatly need to speak up in the moment and not worry about hurting feelings, but that is sooo hard for me to do.

I think that your aunt will just have to deal with it. It's a big fat bummer, but that's just the way it is.


That is so great though that your son was on top of it!

Hang in there :)

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