Do you find your patience decreases as your child improves

[KaraM]

I feel like crap right now. My dd8 has been slowly improving. When I think about where we were 8 weeks ago, I realize she has come a long way. I am truly thankful for this. Yet in spite of my thankfulness and relief that she's headed in the right direction, I ended up in a yelling match with her today over homework and her inability to focus, understand (yes it was math). I haven't yelled like I did in a long time...

 

However, I find that after having a day or two where things go relatively smoothly (clearly not perfect, but, as I think you all understand, everything is relative), when my dd has an "issue," either OCD, rage, whatever, I have less patience with her than when these behaviors were a constant. Please tell me I'm not alone in feeling/acting this way.

 

On a different note, I keep wondering about seasonaltiy. The timing of everything we are experiencing is almost identical to last year. Her OCD started showing in the fall, got intense during the winter, then, at the end of March last year, started abx. Improved over the next couple of months and had a great summer.

 

Even though she stayed on abx, her OCD returned in the fall, was intense during the winter. We started Bartonella treatment at the end of March and she has (with some clear ups and downs) been improving overall. Our pediatrician has said it, friends, teachers, and even I, notice the correspondence with the seasons....Does this happen with anyone else? I know it could be less exposure, more time outdoors, etc. But could Seasonal AFfective Disorder be part of it or something like that?

 

 

Thanks,

Kara

[ShaesMom]

However, I find that after having a day or two where things go relatively smoothly (clearly not perfect, but, as I think you all understand, everything is relative), when my dd has an "issue," either OCD, rage, whatever, I have less patience with her than when these behaviors were a constant. Please tell me I'm not alone in feeling/acting this way.

 

 

You're not alone. We have all been traumatized emotionally and when things start to head in a direction of healing & hope you start to relax. When there is a flare it's only natural that our bodies go back into that "fight or flight" mode and you naturally overreact. This disease affects the entire family not just the sick kiddo. Our entire families will forever be changed because of PANDAS.

[LNN]

I find there are two times I tend to snap most. The first is at the beginning of an episode, when I'm not in that "mode" and I'm expecting normal. The second is as things improve. Partly, it's because if they could hold it together yesterday, then you want them to hold it together today. You feel like you deserve it. Your tank is empty and you get mad at the possibility that there's still more to come. Plus, you yourself have held it together for so long, under such stressful circumstances. And now, you're just so done. We're the types of people who are great in a crisis - we'll calmly get everyone out of the burning building but later that night, as we brush our teeth for bed, we'll totally lose it. I think you're normal. And you are far far far more patient than I am! So I'm sure if you lost it, you were long overdue.

 

And yes, I see a seasonality to my daughter's issues (not my son's). Spring can be a little iffy, with allergies making her emotional. Summer is pretty great and early fall is good. But once the windows get shut and kids start sharing colds, or maybe when the sunlight gets less, or when indoor molds grow...who knows the trigger, but yes, by her birthday in January, she's been a wreck. But never any strep. So we were always reluctant to think Pandas. She too is on a bartonella protocol. Only time will tell. One theory is the bucket idea - that maybe there's low level infection the body can fight when it's not stressed, but add other insults and suddenly the bucket overflows and things explode. But who the heck knows.

[KaraM]

I think you're normal.

 

:lol:

Biggest laugh I've had all day!!!

 

Thanks! ( i mean it...)

Edited May 11, 2011 by KaraM

[LNN]

I think you're normal.

 

:lol:

Biggest laugh I've had all day!!!

 

Thanks! ( i mean it...)

 

Yeah, well...consider the source

[KaraM]

I think you're normal.

 

:lol:

Biggest laugh I've had all day!!!

 

Thanks! ( i mean it...)

 

Yeah, well...consider the source

 

You're the best!

Edited May 11, 2011 by KaraM

[nicklemama]

All I can say is a big, fat YES!!!!! You let down your guard and have expectations. I am so guilty of this.

[dcmom]

YES< YES< YES!

 

Great in crisis- a rock

 

When the crisis passes, I fall apart; weepy, impatient, depressed, etc.

 

I think it is natural- during crisis, you can't think about yourself, your life, their future, etc- you act. After, when there is a little breathing time- you respond emotionally.

 

It will get better- and yes- I also do remind myself of the worst of worst times, and that gives me good perspective!

Edited May 11, 2011 by dcmom

[JAG10]

YES Kara!!!!

 

Drive My Parents Flippin Crazy Disease

 

We are an awesome group of parents, right? We know high expectations and consistency are among the hallmarks of successfully raising children. As our kids improve, we promptly shift that baseline expectation back in the right direction, where it belongs!!!

 

How in the world do you have consistent expectations when (at any moment and without warning) you could be playing symptomatic whack-a-mole????

 

I think it would be hilarious to go back in time and meet me 11 years ago, have a glass of wine with me and listen to what kind of parent I intended to be. It must be a good day because I think 'present day me" would be laughing and not sobbing.

 

You guys are a riot!!! Normal??? Normal has left the building.

 

Jill

[KaraM]

 

I think it would be hilarious to go back in time and meet me 11 years ago, have a glass of wine with me

 

 

I'll meet you any time, any where! (It'll keep me from drinking alone )

[MomWithOCDSon]

Yes and Yes

 

DS14 has lately complained that I'm "the hardest of everyone" on him and his OCD. I know my fuse has gotten shorter each backslide he's suffered. But, to be fair, my jubilation at his gains and recoveries are equally "lopsided," so I guess, in the end, they all balance out.

 

And as the air gets warmer and the sun shines brighter, yes, DS definitely seems to feel better. Is it because he's no longer cooped up inside with a bunch of other kids, sharing germs? Is it because, even though we supplement with Vitamin D, the "natural" stuff is always better? Who knows!

 

Just thanking the Universe for all blessings, however small!

[ibcdbwc]

PANDDAS

Parental Agitation Never Disappears Disorder Associated with Stress!

[Johnsmom]

Ba ha!

 

This post made my day!!

 

Thanks everyone!