Ian's latest compulsion - touching other people

[lmkmip67]

his latest compulsion is having to rub arms, heads, etc. He isn't doing anything really inappropriate. But he will run his hand from shoulder to hand, and rub heads with his hand, etc. He is 7, almost 8. I can explain most tics and issues to people. But this one really bothers me. I am trying to talk to him about personal space and not touching friends and such, like that. But trying not to focus on it so much he hyper focuses on it, too. As we all know if we keep talking about something, these OCD kids grab onto it. He is about 2 weeks post IVIG now. It was present before, to an extent. But has ramped up. It is embarrassing, but it also worries me. I have talked to his teacher to let her know, and she has noticed it too. In today's society it just worries me, you know? He knows he does it, but can not seem to help it. I don't believe he even thinks about it. I am not sure what to do about it....do I just explain to other parents at birthday parties and such? This is so hard.

 

Lisa

[airial95]

Lisa,

 

This is a tough one, my son went through this briefly with his last strep infection. The biggest issue was that he was touching strangers. Not just touching them, but full on hugs, snuggles, caresses, the whole nine yards.

 

My son is only 3 1/2, so we didn't have the "appropriateness" issues or to explain it much, as most people just thought it was adorable. (We did NOT share in that opinion however!)

 

Like you, we kept talking to him about personal space, not talking to - let alone touching- strangers, etc...

 

What we found worked for us, was giving him a "replacement" compulsion. It's not ideal, and our behavior therapist said it was okay for a temporary solution, but we'd still ultimately have to tackle it.

 

We told him if he HAD to touch or hug someone, to do it to one of us, if that wasn't good enough, hug or touch himself. It worked (with a lot of reminding and prompting), he stopped molesting strangers, but I think it backfired a little bit too.

 

I think it turned into our new, equally inappropriate compulsion - constantly having his hands on "himself" (usually OVER his clothes in public). We told him that if he really HAD to do that - to put his hand on his hips instead. It takes some reminding - but it has been working.

 

Good luck!

[lmkmip67]

Thanks. I will give that a try. With enough reminding he might be able to do that. So hard when you know they can't help, really.

[VickyLH]

I can relate. My son did this when he was 8 as well. It was before we knew he had PANDAS or even OCD for that matter. He actually got expelled from school for a day for touching a girl after he had been warned not to. He didn't touch her inappropriately, but obviously it freaked her out that this boy kept touching her. At the time I couldn't understand why he was acting this way when he was really such a good kid. He felt so bad for what he did and he thought he was an awful person. He obviously couldn't explain why he did it. It breaks my heart knowing he was punished for something he couldn't help at the time. We didn't discover he had PANDAS until this year. At least you know what you are dealing with and you can educate his teachers.

 

Take care,

Vicky

[lmkmip67]

Thanks, Vicky. we are telling him to touch his own arm instead, and will keep reminding him. Hopefully that will help. It is so hard to explain to other people. I feel like I have to explain to others at birthday parties and such that he is dealing with some OCD issues and has a touching compulsion right now. Not sure how else to handle it with people.