When do you say, "NO"

[Joan Pandas Mom]

When do you say no to OCD's demands, get this do that, wrong cup get another one, turn on the tv, turn it off, then on again, on, and on and on. I'm really gong crazy. Am I making him worse? I feel like I am giving an alcoholic a beer every time I give in to a compulsion. He is 3 1/2 weeks post IVIG #3. He absolutely refuses to doing any exposure work.

[rockytop]

I struggle so badly with this one. refusing OCD's demands is truly liking taking heroin from an addict....

Edited May 26, 2011 by rockytop

[emmalily]

When do you say no to OCD's demands, get this do that, wrong cup get another one, turn on the tv, turn it off, then on again, on, and on and on. I'm really gong crazy. Am I making him worse? I feel like I am giving an alcoholic a beer every time I give in to a compulsion. He is 3 1/2 weeks post IVIG #3. He absolutely refuses to doing any exposure work.

 

An alcoholic drinks as a coping mechanism rather than dealing with whatever is hurting inside of them. Alcoholism is, often, an emotional response. PANDAS-OCD is not an emotional response, it is a neurological one. Obviously, no one wants to enable compulsions, but it might be best to remember they are not coming from the same place as a compulsive need to drink comes from. An alcoholic has a choice about how to deal with their feelings; they can drink or they could talk or they could dance it out, or whatever. Somebody with PANDAS does not have so many outlets. Either you ignore your compulsions (which is incredibly difficult to do) or you complete them (which is also incredibly difficult) and neither particularly leaves you feeling better. What I mean, mostly, with this is that maybe you don't have to be hard on yourself about giving in (or not giving in). You're not enabling negative emotions in your child (as you would be by encouraging an alcoholic to drink), you're playing along with their malfunctioning brain. Like I said, obviously no one wants to make compulsions into a habit, but it's definitely different than the guilt you would feel over encouraging an alcoholic to drink.