Can anyone give me some relasionship advice

[Guest David]

I'm no expert with relasionships and i have aspergers, i've only recently found out about forums discussing the topic and ive never met any other people with aspergers, im guessing not all people with aspergers have the same problems in relationships but any advice from you guys would be a great help.

 

my biggest problems in relasionships is trust, despite having aspergers i can communicate to someone close and be very affectionate without the shyness, but put me in a public place and i'll switch into the shyest person ever sometimes i even shake with fear!

 

My biggest problem in relasionships is jelousy, i've read up on emotions and psychology and from what i can gather jelousy happens when one is insecure, but i do not feel insecure im happy with my appearance and im confident in small groups.

 

but i just cant shake the feeling, when i get jelous its so intense, like a rage but not a violent rage, an imploding overload of emotion. im so confused, am i infact insecure?, is the uncontrolable jelousy caused by having aspergers.

 

is there anything i can do to deal with it?

[Guest Guest]

David--To be honest you might want to try and find a therapist to guide you in this area. From what I understand having those problems with AS is common.

 

I to have a problem with trust and never sure when to beleive people and always looking for a lie. I have a problem of just being to honest with people in society that likes to be lied to. Every one lies and I just don't know when to draw the line between a ok lie and bad lie. My resolution to the problem has just been to keep most thoughts to myself. However, then Im to quite and that dont work to well either. So as you can see I don't have the best answer to your question.

 

Right now Im in first good relationship and my girlfriend thank god has learned just to accept my bold honesty on things and not take those things person. She has been real kind to me and learned to speak to me in the same fashion and expain her thought that way to. I have learned that just having open talks with her has kept things real good for us. Does that help?

[Guest illthinkofitsoon]

I would have to agree. See a therapist to help you with this. Also on this twing of jelousy you describe of; i believe i know what it is. I've got aspergers as well so i think i've got a good idea as to what these feelings may mean. What you probably feel is jelousy for others who can express themselves easily and particapate in situations you might usally shy away from.

 

The best that i can suggest is ignore these feelings and consentrate on what you need to do. Help yourself and get a therapist. Sure therapists can help but all they do is help you reconize your problems. Only you can solve them. But what I would suggest the most is to just take it easy. Pain, jelousy, saddness, its all a part of life. Just except it or dont give a damn. If that dosent help take a walk or read a book to help you take your mine off these things.

[OOpswrongplanet]

I've been dating a guy with AS for 2 years now..And from what he has told me he gets the same way....I will tell you what I tell my boyfriend when he says stuff like that " take a deep breath and remember If it's meant to work it will work..if its not then its not...just rememeber you have but one life to live..soo live it to the fullest"...But before you start living the moment to the fullest one step at a time..feel out whats going on ... then live it to the fullest... Tho thats just me ... finding some1 professtional is a great idea...(i actually wish my boyfriend would go..but he won't hear of it)!!!!! GOOD LUCK !!!