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so - how far am I to push things at school? I am trying really hard to not be "that mom". ds12, 6th grade, had some troublesome grades that I asked him to talk with teacher about. backstory - this is my 'mild' child, who may have had social anxiety issues regardless of pandas. he has trouble asking for help from adults, standing up for himself, and finding solutions to problems if in a sticky situation. we have spoken with his homeroom teacher about this and are working on giving him support and help him learn how to handle these situations. he does not have a 504. although had a problem last year - but we were able to work through it with great staff. I have been extremely happy with this school and proactive approach for both children -- until now. we have had some back and forth with a non-response to ds's email from teacher, then I got involved. in one week, he seems to have gone from teacher 'not knowing there was a problem' to him having had instances of being 'extremely rude' and 'engineering the downfall of a group project that needed to be redone' - (that his grade is 10/10), and refusing to do work - not that he just done those, that she just discussed it. they are supposed to be moving him out of this class b/c it seems apparent to everyone that he and teacher are at odds. that's fine with me b/c he also is frustrated with computers in that class that are subpar. really, likely the root of the trouble b/c he often doesn't have a computer that works correctly - therefore, has trouble doing work. yesterday, he is accused of having made rude derogatory comments that made the teacher cry (?!)- overheard by other adults, but no exact statement can be given to me. he says he did not say anything. he says, "even if I did, I wouldn't be stupid enough to say it around her or in her class" vice principal (who I previously loved, but am frustrated with this handling) is involved -- kind of just wants to move him out of the class and get over it. I think it is inappropriate to have 'rude', 'disrespectful' and 'engineering trouble with the project' as the statement. I think we need to know specifics and exacts. I am sure that he has had trouble in the class b/c I can readily admit that his anxiety shut down is maddening. I don't understand why teacher has not addressed it prior to this and think this is inappropriate handling. I have appointment with psych next Tues to discuss. I didn't want 504 for him b/c I wanted him to learn to adjust and learn to ask for the accommodations that he needs. this was going well -- but now I am feeling that they don't really get him and he may need extra help. thoughts? ocdmom, dcmom, llm ?? anyone else appreciated also!!