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Dear All, I don't really have much of a purpose writing this post other than to describe to you the devastating repercussions and consequences that life a side has thrown me whilst being 'locked in' to this illness. Here in the UK, I'm a struggling university student currently on medical leave - the responsibility, time, planning and organisation of placement and finance is a huge burden for all, let alone for someone severely incapacitated. My story follows a familiar relapse/ remitting course of illness for several years. For the best part of 8 months I've been walking around in hazy fog totally unable to organise my thoughts, my short term memory is shot and I've had much difficulty in general functioning full stop. The worst part of this illness is the ignorance and lack of support I've received from my own family, who have expected me to 'just picks things up'. It may appear to some from an outside perspective that I'm simply dealing with a clear case of munchausen, but pure isolation coupled with blasé style of wilful ignorance has kept me battering on to my parents for the help I feel I need. Time is precious and flies by very quickly, the new academic year is upon me, and I'm still entirely dysfunctional. I realise that yet again, I will have to postpone my return to everyday functional life and the chance to succeed in education. I've exhausted all available help from the NHS, and now my fate really does lie in the hands of Dr K and the financial resources of my parents - they simply have no due care for the symptoms I've displayed for many years, and are finding anyway possible to refute or brush off a claim of PANS/PANDAS. Usually, I can organise myself and everything I've done or achieved has been entirely self directed. I've had contact with a prominent neurologist in London, who after receiving Dr K's letter did acknowledge the possibility of a historical picture of pandas, but made it clear that any treatment protocols were restricted to use in children - he doesn't treat adults because of the 'lack of research'. My last hope is truly in Dr K, being totally friendless, having no girlfriend and my mind being on the rocks, I have no idea how I'm going to turn my life around for the 'umpteenth time'. He returns from vacation tomorrow, my parents have agreed to speak to him but are very reluctant to entertain the idea of going the extra mile despite all the suffering. What do I do? How am I going to turn this around and restore all previous function? I understand we are all strangers to each other, and that us guys are selectively few and far between in the everyday world. I just feel so lost, with no clear idea as to whether I will 'suddenly' get better this time. My ability to concentrate and organise myself is abysmal, my ability to speak fluently has just returned. And to be fair I'm no one should have to go through the terrifying or deal I have... I guess as the great man once said "The world is a dangerous place to live, not because of evil people, but because of the people who don't do anything about it..." Afterall, ignorance is always the true killer. Thank you guys for supporting me these last few weeks, it's kindly appreciated. I just wish the real world was the same, I long to return to my former self.