This talk is by a woman who had two brothers. One had severe autism and the other died as a young child. She talks about being the "good" child who didn't feel she was allowed to have problems or add to her parents' burden. She felt like she was made of glass - not fragile, but rather, someone who people "looked right thru", as if she were made of glass - invisible.
In her talk, she doesn't blame the parents. But she talks about the importance of having other adults who can make a child feel visible again, remind them that they count too. A lot of us struggle with this, trying to be there for the healthy (or less sick) child yet having the ill child demand all we have to give. I don't post this as a guilt trip but rather a reminder that it's important to let other adults help us in times of crisis, especially if they can be there to prevent a glass child and be a one mile per hour wind
http://tedxtalks.ted.com/video/TEDxSanAntonio-Alicia-Arenas-Re