kez-UK
I feel what you're going through because my son was the same way. He is also 9 years of age and when he was much younger he would have severe melt-downs in school but never at home. I started looking into Sensory Integration Dysfunction and how autistic children's sensory perceptions are not wired correctly. For example my son is a hypersensitive autistc child. He is tactile-defensive(can't tolerate light touch because it feels like an extreme blow to hs body so he will become aggressive if someone touches him lightly). Not knowing this, anyone will call it a behavior issue when it really is a sensory issue. My son also needs vestibular and proprioceptive input constantly in order to navigate throughout the day. Meaning his Occupational therapist will have him swing on a swing, bounce on a therapy ball, jump on a trampoline, ride a bicycle and lots of other fun stuff. These activities all help autistic children with their sensory processing. He also has hypersensitive hearing in which he wears earphones specifically ordered to bring the noise level down and block out background noise.
Sensory Integration Dysfunction or Sensory Processing Disorder is very real.
When we see an autistic child having meltdowns, we all need to start looking at the SENSORY piece of the puzzle. An occupational therapist who is trained in sensory integration dysfunction should be able to evaluate the child and help the child with sensory integration therapy.
Autistic children that have sensory integration dysfunction usually are very happy and comfortable at home because they fell "safe". Home is a safe place for them, it's not a painful place or an overloaded place.
School on the other hand is not a safe place. It's painful with all the flourescent lights, the different smells of perfumes, cleaning solutions, art materials, cafeteria foods, etc, the many piercing noises, the fire-drill bells, all the jumble talking all at once, the clothes they are wearing, the touching and of course as previously spoken...the change of routines.
No wonder they have meltdowns...I would too!!!!
Please look into your son's sensory needs (likes and dislikes).
I'm sure there is something going on there that only through a sensory lens will his school understand and be able to help him.
I hope I have been of help as the others who responded have been also.
If you need to talk or need help in anything let us know....I will be more than happy to help....
God Bless you and you're precious son......
luvmylilrainman