First off...take a deep breath and relax. I too have suffered from the same exact thoughts. You begin to question your actions and beliefs even though they occur naturally like being attracted to women. All of a sudden you find yourself asking the questions "why am I attracted to boobs or why aren't gay men attracted to women" and because you are now analyzing it...your natural abilities disappear for some reason. Why, I don't know but that's how my brain has percieved it. I have had the exact same thoughts as you...I have always been completely heterosexual, have never had any desire to well you know, do stuff with guys (nasty! but completely okay if you so desire). However, my obsessive thoughts get into the mix and I think "what if I am but just don't know it" or "what if I am just ignoring it" Here is what you have to think about, it is okay to have those thought, to find other men good looking, or even sexy. We are all human and sexuality is the most complicated thing that even the best doctors can not fully explain. I went to a shrink to talk about this stuff and he educated me on human sexuality...he said that there is no one who is completely straight or completely gay...we all end up somewhere in the middle. For men, it is more difficult because if we show any "signs" of playing for the other team we must be...and that does not help us who suffer from obsessive compulsive thoughts. But really, it is okay, you love your girlfriend and that is all that matters. One thing I do when obsessive thoughts come into my head is just replace those thoughts with one sentence "obsesive compulsive" . This helps becuase now I know why I do it. Also, it helps to understand human sexuality and that it is okay to have thoughts...it is human nature, the problem is, people who suffer from obsesive thoughts turn them into emergencies as opposed to simply dismissing them like other people can. Talking to my shrink about this stuff really helped me and has almost cured this type of thinking...knowing the cause is half the battle...please talk to someone about this...you will be doing yourself a favor. It is all about the way you think of things...your turned on in the office and you think is there a man near by? but is there a female near by also? Instead of obesising on the negative turn it around and look at the positive. Will you always be turned on by your girlfriend every second you are with her...of course not, now that would be wierd! I hope other people respond to you and that this post helps you. Good luck and it is okay.
