smilemona

Hi Mira~ It sounds like your doctor prescribed the Zoloft for the other symptoms you're experiencing - namely depression. That's a popular usage for that medication. So, just because you were prescribed Zoloft, doesn't necessarily mean that you have OCD, too. The website is just stating that for people under age 15, it can help with that if it's one of the issues at hand. Lots of people take Zoloft who don't have OCD. And if it's on your mind still, you could call your doctor or ask the next time you go for a visit: "I saw on the internet that Zoloft is used to treat OCD for people under 15. Was this one of the reasons you gave it to me? Do you think I have OCD?" Then your doctor can explain why the Zoloft was prescribed. You can go straight to the source and see what she has to say about it. Take care, ~Mona

Hi Susan~ You mentioned that your son doesn't feel like anyone can help him. Is he open to the idea of having a life coach, though? It can be difficult and frustrating to try to help someone who doesn't want help - and in order for the changes to really take effect, the person ultimately has to want them for himself. If he's open to receiving some help, what I'd recommend is doing a search for ("life coach" "winter park" florida) in Google so that you can find some local life coaches. A lot of coaches work over the phone and it may be that your son would do better with someone in person. Many coaches offer free consultations or even a free session, so he could call them up to see what they suggest and he could see if moving forward would be a good idea. Another idea would be for you to look into getting some support for yourself as you go through the difficult time you're having as you watch your son. It's hard enough to watch your son struggle, but then for you to struggle on top of it, now there's two people struggling and it's not easy to help yourself or him from that space. I work regularly with people who are dealing with frustrations and worries about their loved ones and how they're living their lives and I'd be happy to talk to you about what's going on for you. You can write me a note at mona@letsdothework.com and we can set up a time to talk at no cost to you. I'd love to hear from you, Susan. ~Mona

Hi GoodBehavior~ I hadn't seen that site before, so I'm not familiar with the product. Sorry I can't help ya there. What kind of issues are you hoping to help with a discipline program? Sometimes a simple behavior chart can work wonders. I've created several of them that are very easy to use and that kids really respond to when used correctly. I used to use them in my classroom when I was a teacher and they were so helpful! If you want to take a peek and download some of them for to try out for free, visit http://www.freebehaviorcharts.com. If you try them out and want some feedback or support, post your comments or questions here and I'll see if I can help. Good luck! ~Mona Grayson

Hi Natalie~ You might try a behavior modification chart at home. I've made several of them and they're available for free at http://www.freebehaviorcharts.com One that I might recommend for your son is the Bear to the Honey one. It's simple enough for a 3 year old to use because all that is needed is the skill to connect the dots. It's on the Charts page of the site. You might see another one that would spark his interest, too. At home, you could use it to help with the way he pushes his sister. You could tell him, like someone else suggested, that you want to help everyone in your family stay safe, including him (because when he's rough with someone else he could also hurt himself). This is also the time where you would determine what his reward is going to be for completing the chart and connecting all the dots. The chart is used to reinforce appropriate behaviors, like walking by his sister without pushing her down. So when you see him interact with his sister without pushing her down, you'd give him praise like, "Thank you for playing so nicely with ______. " Or, "I like how you're being gentle with _______." The reinforcement doesn't focus on the negative behavior - like" Thank you for not pushing her down." See how that one brings up the behavior we're trying to avoid? So always stay in the positive. Then he can connect the dots once on his Bear to Honey chart. When the chart is complete...maybe once a day...then he's earned his pre-determined reward. Maybe extra time with just the two of you alone...or he can play in the sandbox, etc. There are great ideas on the site with the rest of the charts, too. Something else to consder: the circumstances around the pushing. What are you doing when the pushing happens? (Washing dishes, watching TV, cleaning, reading?) What was he doing right before he pushed her down? (Was he frustrated that he couldn't do something he wanted? Was he talking with you? Was he playing in his room?) Have you ever asked him, without sounding angry, why he pushes her down? He might have some great insight into the situation. Best wishes! ~Mona

Here's a link for another place that does vitamin profiles: http://www.hriptc.org/introducing_HRI.html It's in Illinois. ~Mona

Hi Jen~ I just wrote a post in response to the strand about unwanted sexual thoughts a few minutes ago. It's also in this section of the message board and I recommended a book that you might find helpful with your obsession with this guy on campus. Check it out if you like. Best wishes, ~Mona

Hi~ If you're looking for some support with your stressful obsessive-compulsive thinking, I have a great book recommendation. It's called Loving What Is by Byron Katie and it's available on Amazon. It teaches you a 4 step process you can use when you're stressed about the thoughts that are showing up in your head - whether sexual or not. I'm not claiming that it's a cure for OCD. What it does give you, though, is a chance to understand your mind a bit more and possibly find more peace by questioning what you believe. Once you understand the thoughts that you're having, it can be less frustrating and scary the next time they come around. I use this technique with myself and others and while I haven't worked specifically with anyone who has been diagnosed with OCD, I have seen it help people with addictions and other repetitive thoughts that were really bothering them. If you're dealing with stressful thoughts, this process can definitely help. Here are two websites where you can get more information: http://www.thework.org and http://www.letsdothework.com I hope you find something that helps. Love, ~Mona

Yes, your child is entitled to a 504 plan if he has been diagnosed with ADHD. The 504 plan will get your child some special attention that will help him succeed better in class. The next step is to talk with your child's teacher or the guidance counselor at the school to see about setting up a meeting to talk about what you want. The thing with 504 plans is that sometimes you have to be your child's advocate and really ask for the help. It can take some time and some cooperation from your child's teacher, so stick with it. Any child with ADHD or another learning problem is entitled to the 504 plan...including yours. And it can make a big difference in your son's success. I used to be a teacher and was more than willing to help when I had a student on a 504 plan. Good luck! ~Mona

(Please tell me im crazy and that these images and thoughts are not real and are OCD related. From morning till night I think of nothing except these thoughts. ) Hi Argyle~ The thoughts seem very real because you're believing them, that's all. That's what we do with a lot of thoughts that we have. We base our lives on what we believe and it's very innocent. Our thoughts, as you've noticed, can be powerful enough to create an experience that we really think happened, even when we're not sure that it actually did. Then we react according to those thoughts. I would love to recommend a book for you -- called Loving What Is by Byron Katie. It gives instructions for a process that can be very helpful when you find yourself believing thoughts that create stress in your life. If you have been diagnosed with OCD previously, have you brought up this recent thought pattern about kissing with your doctor? It might be helpful to share that information with him/her. All the best, ~Mona

Hi Bobby & Jenna~ Have either of you thought about talking to a teacher you trust or the school nurse or counselor? While they might not have any ideas for what treatments, they might be able to help you with some ideas for bringing it up with your parents. It might also be nice to be "heard" by another adult who can listen to what you're going through and perhaps share something with you that might be helpful for when you talk with your parents. I'm glad you found this site so you can talk to each other and possibly find some help for you situations. All the best, ~Mona

Another idea to suggest to your friend: Have a conference with the teacher and ask: Is it necessary that he respond in complete sentences when writing or are answers alone acceptable in certain instances? Are there other accomodations the teacher is willing to allow? When note taking is appropriate, can he record the lessons on a tape recorder or use a buddy's notes? Some children also like writing better when they can do it with different mediums --- colored pencils, fat markers, pens, etc. Are any of those more popular with the child? Recommending him for a screening of sorts sound like a great idea, also. In the mean time, maybe some of these alternatives will make the waiting go by a little easier. Your friend is lucky to have you helping! *Mona

Hi Randy, It might be worth talking to your daughter's teacher, or any other people who spend time with her (coaches, friends, relatives...) to see if they have noticed her being more hyper than usual when in those environments. Has her performance in school changed from last year? Are there any particular times of the day she seems more hyper? Right before bed, after meals, after waking from a nap, after having snacks, swimming, playing in the yard...? *mona

Hi David~ I'm an elementary school teacher and am familiar with 504 plans. If your child has been diagnosed with a disability, (this includes ADHD) he has a right to be considered for a 504 plan. If you've already discussed the idea with the teacher without a favorable response, I would suggest talking to the guidance counselor or ESE coordinator at the school. Insist upon a meeting..you are your child's best advocate!