im so happy i have finally got to the bottom of this i have had this for 10 years and was too scared to talk about it - i have just started talkng to my wife about it and she is very supportive - i have just bottled it up and have just got on with it but it feels worse because you feel like you are a freak on your own - i now can relax in my own life and hopefully move on and control what is inside my head