kryz

as the person above me said. we cant diagnose you here but it DOES sound like ocd. the intrusive and unwanted mostly morbid thoughts. its a pretty horrible thing to live with. (i have the same problem). i would highly recommend getting diagnosed by a doctor. it may never go away completely but there are treatments that can make it so that you aren't having those kinds of thoughts all the time and can lessen or weaken the symptoms. one example is CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) and theres lots of variations of CBT as well. trust me a lot more people than you know go through this. best of luck to you.

the last part you described sounds like the obsessive side to ocd. the intrusive and unwanted mostly morbid thoughts. i have the same problem. i also exhibit the constant hand washing and i line things up. i was diagnosed with ocd but what i was told was that it didnt seem to be too disruptive to my life. you could also have an anxiety disorder. i myself have generalized anxiety disorder and some sort of social anxiety disorder. anxiety disorders would explain the constant worrying about your boyfriend losing feelings for you, maybe even cheating on you or dying. i would highly suggest finding someone who can properly diagnose you and give you a path of treatment to follow. i know how hard living with those feelings can be. it's emotionally painful. and no one should have to feel that way. best of luck

for a while ive thought that my mom had some sort of problem with her social development. ive had someone say that they thought she might have autism so ive been trying to look up different psychological disorders that might fit her symptoms she seems to be missing a sort of social filter that most people have. like the ability to sense when people are uncomfortable by something she's saying. or when it isnt the appropriate time to have an argument because there are others around. she seems to just blurt out every thought that comes into her head with no regard for people around her or what they might think of what shes saying. she is constantly putting people around her in very awkward and uncomfortable social situations and backing them into corners and not realizing that shes doing something that isnt socially except able. an example i have of some of her behavior is; today me, my boyfriend and her were in the car and we had just gone to the post office to pick up a package his parents had sent him which was money. without any hesitation she asks him if she can have some money (she hasn't been working for the last 5 years and has been taking money from her friends with seemingly no interest in getting a job for real). she barely knows my boyfriend and he isnt comfortable enough to tell her no i dont feel comfortable giving you money, so i answered for him and said no. i thought it was pretty rude for her to ask him seeing as she didnt know him that well. then it escalated into a fight. i kept telling her that this was not the appropriate time to have a fight because my boyfriend was in the car, but no matter what i said she just wouldn't stop. not caring that he was uncomfortable at all. insisting i was lying about certain things and "he needed to know". even though it had nothing to do with him. she does things like this on a constant basis. thinking that other people are responsible for helping her. she was told about a job she could get by this random person she had just met and it costs 200$ to get the license for it and she was telling me she believed that the man she barely knew who had suggested the job to her should pay the 200$ for her to get the license since he suggested it to her. if anyone knows if perhaps this could be a form of autism or could maybe point me in the right direction about what disorder she may have it would be greatly appreciated. it's really starting to wear down on me and others around her.