Hi i know exactly how you feel ive been like this now for 2 years and it is killing me, i just want to die everyday because i feel sick and disgusting for having these thoughts. I am a woman and i have a lovely boyfriend who is everything that i could want, but im plagued with unwanted sexual thoughts, i have thought about children, and my own family. It just makes me feel sick when i think stuff like this. I know that they are just thoughts but when the thought comes into my head the urge to think about it is so strong that i have to think about it if you know what i mean, and what i do be trying to do is make myself realise that i dont really feel like this and sometimes i cant. When i do realize it then i start to feel really guilty for having such terrible thoughts about my family, and that makes it start up all over again. I really need to stop this now because i want to have a normal happy life, my boyfriend knows that i have ocd, but he doesnt know about the unwanted sexual thoughts, i have also had thoughts of thinking that i wouldnt care if someone died and have told him about this, that problem isnt as bad as my current one, but it still happens to me sometimes. Im also afraid to have sex sometimes because those thoughts come into my head then also and i do be afraid that i like them, i know that i dont but you know yourself that when the thoughts come into your head it doesnt feel like that. Please help me, it does make me feel a bit better knowing other people feel the same as me, but i even feel guilty and worried after writing this because i have put all my worries into words for the first time and it is after making it even more real now for me.
HI guys. I can definitely empathize with you both. It is a daily struggle to live with and defeat OCD, but the most helpful piece of advice I've found is to just believe in yourself that you are not the person the OCD wants you to think you are. You have to take a leap of faith and go with this. I started knowing that this was the answer when I realized that me sitting around and worrying about it all day was not helping (trying to rationalize it doesn't work because they are irrational thoughts). I repeat phrases to mysself to help reassure me "I am a good person" "This is just my imagination and I do not believe what it is telling me"
this is an amzing site that I continually go back to for re-affirmation: http://www.ocdonline.com/articlesphillipson.php
and the book Beyond Reasonable Doubt by O'Connor, Aardema, and Pelissier is a great help as well.
Take care! We all can beat OCD, it does not control our lives we control it as long as we continually make the difficult choice to do so.
