Hey needinghelp, I've suffered similar problems but I've thought about it alot in psychological and logical terms, and from reading justme07 and carolyn N's conversation on this board, I've further sealed and concluded my stance on the topic. I will summarize their conversation for you. Justme07 had a child, and begun thinking of sick thoughts about hurting her child. Carolyn N. explained that it is because our beautiful human minds are capable of preventing these actions from playing out, and these worrisome thoughts are actually the epitome of care. I believe that it is true. By being so fearful of something so dangerous, it means nothing other than your mind being overly active on useless things such as these. Mine is the same way under anxiety. Because we suffer from overly active minds, we bring in the possibility of 'what could go wrong'. This is probably due to our flowing stream of thoughts as well as our good will to prevent ourselves from hurting others.
I also learned from Dr. Drew (the guy on loveline) that although you may obtain sexual arousal from imagining scenarios of children in your mind, it does not necessarily mean you have potential to become a pedophile. As teenagers, we are easily sexually aroused, whether you are watching or thinking about gay, straight or pedophiliac acts. By dwelling in negativity and hopelessness it is impossible to remove yourself from this world of darkness, but by understanding that you would never act out upon it will eventually remove these thoughts from your conscience. For the time being, exercise, interacting with friends, and participating in activities can temporarily remove these thoughts. Personally, I do not believe that people can be inborn sickos unless they have a chemical disorder, but it seems like you are a levelheaded person and are eventually capable of dealing with these issues yourself (very different from someone as far-removed as a molester or pedophile). Before I came to these realizations, weeks or months after my anxiety (from homesickness or travelling subsided) my brain chemicals were still ruined, but understanding these positive concepts is a true remedy. Humans are masters of adapting to situation and creating perspectives and beliefs. I believe that you can eventually overcome and destroy these thoughts even when they show themselves in the future.
