Being in a relationship with someone with ROCD or obsessions about you is so hard. I, too, love my SO, but it can be terrorizing, especially if you don't know what you are dealing with. I started out thinking that all of the flaws and other criticisms I heard about myself were true. The repeated breakups made me wonder what I was doing wrong. Then after 4 years I found out about ROCD. I read about it in other message forums, and I can't tell you how relieved I was to learn that what I was dealing with was not uncommon. My SO was not a mean guy, and it gave me strength.
He's only gone to a therapist once, and it's been a little scary not knowing when it will all start again (last time he spiked was in June -tried to breakup again). He is trying to deal with it on his own, and I disagree. But I have learned that pushing him only makes things worse, so I'm doing what I can. He's trying, but I wonder if it will ever subside, and if he will ever be able to feel sure of his feelings for me.
I found a book for partners in relationships with ROCD, I can't tell you how helpful it was. I must say I know more about ROCD and OCD than I ever thought I would. I would suggest it to anyone trying to understand this monster, sufferer or partner. It was a great help. It's called "Sleeping with ROCD". There's a promo page that has a lot of information about it HERE, maybe it can help others like me.
There's also an article written by Dr. Stephen Phillipson about it. It's call "I think it moved". This was one of the first things that helped me identify ROCD in my relationship. It's located HERE, and it describes relationship substantiating, which defines ROCD.
I read that Meds help mask symptoms, but the only way to really control OCD (ROCD) is through CBT and ERP (Exposure and Response Prevention). They say only half of OCD sufferers respond to medication, but I think 75% of OCD cases are controlled over the long term of CBT. CBT has a higher success rate, too, and can work without medication.
Anyway, sorry for going on and on. Hope this helped.
