After the worst period of my life I ended up on Sertraline 50mg per day for the last 12 months. I found I was feeling dumber and dumber and drinking destructively. The effect of alcohol was multiplied by the Sertraline I'm sure. Anyhow I recently lost my job probably because of these factors and now I can't afford the pills so I have been trying to wean myself off them. I have also stopped drinking and smoking. I only smoked when I drank, so that's no big deal.
After a three day hangover of vomiting and not being able to drink even a glass of water I started crying uncontrollably for a few days and feeling so fearful that I was hiding under my desk at home, I started getting very dizzy and really tingly head particularly in the afternoons. Intermittent diarrhoea and headaches. Inability to sleep and for the short bursts of uncomfortable sleep that I did have, the most indescribable and intensely vivd dreams. (I normally used to have dreams more real than reality) Feelings, colours, textures, horrors, everything messy, very messy and overlapped. Every time a car goes past my house I leap out of bed and peer through the curtain like a supreme paranoid. Pacing up and down the house all through the night and curled up during the day. Worse than the worst acid trip. I only had about 6 trips way back in my teens and I am now 48. I really do not believe there is any connection other than my comprehension of bizarre.
I had one Sertraline after 3 days then another after 5 days. Yesterday, after another week, I had a half and last night I had a reasonable sleep ( only woke up 3 times) without feeling freaked out.
Today I could rip the head off a tiger. I am not an aggressive person, in fact I am usually too timid, but today Grrrrrrrrrr. I have been trying to direct this into being constructive and have achieved quite a lot today (pursuing employment and defraying debtors) but I am certainly not feeling like myself yet.
I have one and a half tablets left and I am not really sure if I can get through this but I intend to try. I am drowning in mounting bills but that is of far less consequence than the half peeled bunch of bananas swirling in the electric soup in my head.
If anyone else can relate to any of this please feel free to email me at stephenlittle@aapt.net.au
