AJW

You are not alone. I have had OCD my entire life, and lately it has been killing me inside. The intrusive thoughts have gotten to the point where I feel I do not have much control over my own mind, even though there is always the voice of reason and consciousness present to help me through it. However, the obsessions are so strong I feel nearly helpless against them, and start wondering if I actually want to commit the things going on in my head. The worst thing is, I am going to an excellent university in the fall and I am terrified of falling apart when or before I get there. I don't want my life to be ruined by this; I don't want to go crazy. But take my word for it: if you are aware of what you are going through, then you have the power to overcome it with your "impartial spectator," or, to put it spiritually, your soul. You will get through this, as will I. It sounds as though you have a strong faith in God--the strongest ally you can have, besides yourself. Feel free to e-mail me any time at cornflake_girl_45@yahoo.com. We can reassure each other by talking through this.