timeoutalready

I completely understand. i get jealous to such a point my skin tingles and burns and my anxiety is through the roof. im currently taking Luvox and was told the right dose is around 200-250mg so im still climbing. i've had ocd with my hair (touching it, making sure it was perfect and not "damaged") since i was 13... im 26. I still have the compulsion urges but try to refrain. i am engaged and fear my sexual obsessing will ruin my relationship. i get insecure, and feel guilty for putting my new fiance and future in jeopardy due to my illness. he loves me like no man ever has. i cant bear knowing i will ruin the best thing in my life due to this disorder. i moved to a new city and the stress from transitioning has gotten me through the roof with this sexual obsessing. i want to find a good therapist. i have no one out here and my fiance's friends probably think i have serious issues since i avoid people ever since the onset worsened after i moved to be with him. i never even lived on my own before. so many firsts and on top of that, this obsessional onset. i want to die. i can only hope the Luvox works, as my doctor confidently proclaims. i have no other confidence to hang on to. my fiance tries to support me but it has totally been a struggle as he didnt know any of this prior to proposing to me. he only knew i come from a highly anxious/critical/depressive family....... i hate them sometimes. i feel my father is mostly to blame. my mom has ocd with cleaning the house. so many variables and not one clear answer as to WHY this is the way it is. i also cant accept this as my reality. i want to die. i had to share and just know you are not alone. it's not your fault.