bluebell

The key to recover from anxiety and depression: they are natural emotion Anxiety and depression are natural emotion. Why is that so? When you feel depress, you don’t need to be afraid. It is very common. If you try to make yourself happy. It is ludicrous! One of my friend completely recovered from depression. He told me: don't be afraid. Bear with it. Take it easy. After you pass this period, you will be fine. If you still cannot do anything, nobody can blame you because you have tried your best. You can lie in your bed and think about some happy things; or you can go out to play and be relax. You will feel better after the period. Everybody can take it. Depression usually outbreak repeatly. It likes a pendulum. It always wave but it will stop one day! Do not think to much. If you cannot control your mind. Then you just let it be. One day, you will stop the nonstop thinking. If you lose your job or family because of it, you have no ability to change it. you have tried your best. It is your destiny. Why others can live better but you can’t? You can only try your best and listen to the god. You can only try hard on those things that you can control. For those cannot control one, just let them be. By chinese old saying: people plan for the thing and god make it success. Forget about it and believe yourself. You can take it. Everything will be fine! Anxiety, nervious, phobia and other symptoms of neurosis are all the same. They are not avoidable. They are very normal. Many people’s experience told us: since it cannot be treated by a short period, why don't you try to feel it. No matter what kind of anxiety or nervious it is, try to experience it. As you have no ability to control it, just give them some space and let them make troubles. Gradually, they will leave in one day. Attention: During these years, I try to get rid of idleness. I clear up my understanding of neurosis systematicly and try to explain what is neurosis. I hope to hear some useful opinions and ideas from you. This article may help and inspire some friends who are troubled by neurosis, when they want to save themselves. First of all, I’d like to thank those pioneers. Without them, I cannot rocover today and write this article. The experience of me is the collection from them. Articles can only explain some commen things. It cannot replace real treatment. I hope there are some advices for your reference within this article.

REVERSE THERAPY: be shameless People suffer from social phobia because they afraid to lose their face. By Chinese old saying: people suffered a lot because they care about their face. The more they scare the more nervous they are! Please learn from Mr. Li Yang. Be shameless! Who won’t never lose his face during his whole life? Start to learn how to lose your face. Until you become shameless, you will recover! As you feel nervous, shake, twitch, shy or uneasy, just let them be. Don't be afraid of them and you will know it is not so terrible. If you cannot calm down, don't force yourself to be calm. If you cannot communicate fluently, don't force yourself to speak fast. By using this therapy you will find social phobia can be treated easily. After you forget about your symptoms over time, they will not appear any more. Thus, You will not care about your social phobia also. Reverse therapy is not a way to treat symptoms. It actually shows a spirit. ------------------------------------------------------ All in one: what is real ACCEPTANCE. The ancients said: all the neurosis, even all the troubles by human being, is because of people cannot face the truth and accept everything. We must learn how to forgive and how to face. We don't have other ways to go. Someone will say: don't tell me about acceptance. I have accepted for so many years, but everything didn't change! Actually, this is the most common misunderstanding of “acceptance”. This is only ostensible acceptance. They want to use acceptance as a way to eliminate symptoms. It is not the real acceptance. If you have really suffered a lot in your life, you can slowly accept your symptoms from your real heart. Only acceptance can change. Certainly, all the people with neurosis can recover. We must go through the path all the way. This is the rule. ----------------------------------------------------------- The key to recover from social phobia: everything cannot be eliminated Social phobia is a normal OCD. The symptoms are: nervous, strabismus, shyness, blush, spatial phobia, stutter, obsessive, anxiety, dread, psychogenic insomnia, suspect, eating disorders, concept and behavior, etc. These all cannot be eliminated. When you start to understand these and start to adapt; when you really accept it from your heart and don't repulse them, they will gone after a long period. Why is that so? Buddhism said, “worry equals contradiction”. Taoism gave us an example: a crock of pure water is very perfect, but it is poison. Fish and shrimp cannot live in this kind of water. It is a crock of backwater. Now we throw some rubbish and dirt inside. The water is no more perfect. It become turbid and looks bad, but there are alimentation in it. Fish and shrimp can live in it! It is a crock of water with life. Therefore, not perfect is the real perfect. The symptoms of neurosis are also the same! Nervous, strabismus, shyness, blush, spatial phobia, stutter, obsessive, anxiety, dread, psychogenic insomnia, suspect, eating disorders, concept and behavior, etc. these are also rubbish and dirt. They let us feel the water is turbid and not perfect. Actually they are very normal. We always drive them to be more and more serious. They themselves cannot be eliminated. If we really eliminate them, we will become abnormal. Normal people are same as that corck of turbid water. They all have the same symptoms as us, but they never care about them. They never drive them to be more serious. We are always so sensitive when symptoms appear. Please recall the first time that the symptoms appeared. They were so normal at that time. Everybody have the same problem, but others just didn't care about them . We were so different and sensitive. We felt inferioity or wanted to be perfect. We were so careful or the environment made us think too much. We never let them go and think they are abnormal. We wanted to obliterate and eliminate them. Of course, we failed to do that. This is the original resource and essence of conflict and fight. Then, we always worried about it. After we repulsed it again and again, we became more and more sensitive and pay more attention on it. The exciting point and impression in our brain became more and more pertinacious. Many years later, as normal people has forgot this, the exciting point in his brain decreased. However, we are still driving and pushing them. We cause them become a very pertinacious exciting point such as addiction. Please don't forget, brainwork waste more energy than physical labor. People’s spirit can transform power. The wasted power was not disappeared for no reason. They all transform to the exciting points, and became the energy resources to support those exciting points not to be eliminated. The essence of the world is exercise. If we never keep on giving this exciting points energy, the homeostatic exciting points have already disappeared long long ago. Therefore, the mean reason of those exciting points are still there is because of ourselves. As the enough strong exciting points formed, they will come to affect our behaviors because psychology effect physiology. It formed a vicious circle. This kind of very normal phenomenon was enlarged by us because of the above reason. We call it magnifier principle, i.e. the core of these symptoms are normal, but we enlarged them by using magnifier phenomenon. This is very similar to what buddhism said: actual dream. Therefore, we were wrong from the start. Lao zi said: the further you go will let you understand the lesser you know. It can be used for us to explain this phenomenon. Everything is empty. Actually, the thing we want to eliminate is “normal”. We try to eliminate it, so we use a lot of energy and unlimited enlarge it until it become abnormal. This is “ there is no trouble in the world, but people always worry about troubles of their own imagining.” To use the philosophical language is: problems exist because of the solutions. We can also use it as: all the neurosis exist because there is “treatment”. The essence of worry is consciousness. I think that is why diamond sutra said: there is no way to become buddha. All the troubles are caused by your pertinacity. If there is no trouble in your heart, you will not feel any troubles. Since they are normal, why must you eliminate them? Buddha said: if you want to be buddha, you will not be buddha. If you don't want to be buddha, you may become buddha. This is what taoism said: As you do everything, you may doing nothing. As you do nothing, you may doing everything. Everthing is very clear now. all the symptoms are very normal. We should wake up after so many years. Nothing can be eliminated. There is no way to choose. Don't try to repulse it because this is the reason why it cannot be eliminated. After you understand all this and start to used to it; accept it from your heart; and not repulse it, it will go one day. When you understand, your neurosis is nearly recover. Since everything is normal, we don't need to eliminate them. The reason caused by ourselves. That is what Mr. Morita told us “follow the natural, do the things should be done” -------------------------------------------------------- Attention: During these years, I try to get rid of idleness. I clear up my understanding of neurosis systematicly and try to explain what is neurosis. I hope to hear some useful opinions and ideas from you. This article may help and inspire some friends who are troubled by neurosis, when they want to save themselves. First of all, I’d like to thank those pioneers. Without them, I cannot rocover today and write this article. The experience of me is the collection from them. Articles can only explain some commen things. It cannot replace real treatment. I hope there are some advices for your reference within this article.

section 1 No one with social phobia is confident! Timid, dependent, inferior, sensitive, weak… When did you lose the go-aheadism in the evironment that even an animal have? You are so dependent and “lazy”! You have lost the ability to control your life and the environment as a healthy people! You are so passive—even animals are not used to the dynamic world! What’s wrong with that? section 2 Maybe you have a strict eldership with ill temper. He or she always intervened your every wishful explore by yourself! You were wrong all the time, because you never met his or her requirement! You were stoped again and again! Therefore, you strated to give up the “useless” independendt effort! You started to follow his or her wishes!—you could get commond and happiness from that but not disagree and punishment! Your active wishes would be rejected and restricted!—passive could help you to adapt this environment! You suffered this for more than 10 years! You was a sapling suppressed by a big tree!—you could only grow by unhealthy way because you want to survive. The environment made you different from others Of course, not all the people who have social phobia face the same situation. This is only a common educational and growing mode. section 3 When was the first time that you didn't dare to make eye contact with others? What do nomal people think, if they feel uncomfortable as they make eye contact with others? What do you think before? What was the first time that you flushed and felt shy; the first time you felt nervous as you faced the public; the first time you felt uneasy, the first time…? What do nomal people think if they face this kind of situations? What did you think before? ---------------------------- All these are because of your inferiority! All these are because of your self-denial! section 4 My life is too bad! Flabbiness, timidity, afraid of death, not good at communication, fear of people, blush, shy, uneasy, nervous….. I don't dear to resist my father/mother! His/her voice is so loud! I scare of his/her shout! I scare and shake! Man and boy, I never fight with others! I am so virtuous! I always make concessions to avoid troubles and dissensions. I am a good guy in others’ eyes! I am not good at refuse, even I hope so! I always make myself grievance! I am so dependent and have less definite idea! My life is controlled by others! I usually go with the stream! ------------------------------------ No! I need to change myself! The theory of success, great man biography, giants in movie! I want to improve my psychological quality! I start to wear a mask called “smart” in front of people! I can talk a lot with people! Before I go to the society, I need to prepare for a long time! I feel full of energy! I become more confident when I face others! I am stronger than before! I look like a giant in movies! I am so “narcissistic”! My first important task is start to rebuild myself! ---------------------------------------------------------- Everything is because of my inferiority! Everything is because of my self-denial! ----------------------------------------------------------- Dharma said: there is no end in abyss of misery. You should repent and be saved. section 5 Accept yourself completely by no reason! --because you are the god! section 6 People get social phobia is not because of their own mistake. It usually caused by a special environent. Most of the patients are timid, dependent, passive, weak, excessively careful, lack of social practice, etc. The most common reason are: severe eldership; overprotection; lack of independency from childhood; active personality growing environment, less freedom; less contact with society, eldership suppress, etc. As people try to discover the environment actively and independently, eldership suppress it at the same time. After a long time, the natural motivation cannot be express and forced to turn to interior. People gradually learn the passive and dependent life mode. “Patriarchal slave” will be formed in patients thinking mode. section 7 It is difficult to accept yourself. Not accept yourself is even more difficult. Accept yourself bravely. Don't try to escape. This is the first step of the only way to recovery. People get social phobia always want to be other people. They don't dear to be themselves. The brightness of zen told us: be yourself! Nobody can by others! This is the only way to recover! Actually, this is the trump to get rid of neurosis. When we start live with reality and bluffness, neurosis will slowly lose its power, even though it may not be so perfect.

Thank you for your reply .I am not the original writer of this post.But the writer of this article thinks the information may help others to some extent.I am interested in psychology whilst I am learning from him and I agree with him on most of his ideas.So I post this. I am glad to meet people who are familiar with oriental philosophy here.We can discuss deeper about it .As to the question you put foward below ,I think we can communicate further on MSN .Briefly speaking,I think age is just a difference but not a problem.You know, every one has the special language he can accept,or be inspired. we should be able to draw simple wisdom from a great philosophy thoughts,which by nature can give birth to this kind of wisdom .This is kind of a guide ,I think.~~~This is just my opnion .But I think it's true.That's what I learnt and believe these years.How do you think of it ?Hope further communication with you ! Best wishes for you and your son. Bluebell

OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) Complete Recovery from OCD OCD Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder is an anxiety disorder characterized by intense, recurrent, unwanted thoughts and rituals that are beyond the person's control. So when we speak of OCD, there must be 2 sides: one side is the recurrent unwanted thoughts, and the other side is your strong desire to get rid of these unwanted thoughts. So from these 2 sides, we can work out the essence of OCD. The essence of OCD is that you are not willing to accept the existent objective facts and try to escape from it. As we all know, all the matters have their own reason to exist in this world, they all follow the law of nature to exist in this world, the law of nature which cannot be disobeyed at all! Remember the first time such weird idea came across your mind Every person, during his or her life, more or less, occasionally would encounter such weird idea or action. So, however weird it is, it has its own reason to be there, it is reasonable to be there, it just appeared in your mind because of the law of the nature, but it pops up on the wrong person, it is you! If it pops up in other normal persons, they may neglect it or feel uncomfortable just for a short time at most, then they continue their lives and do what they should do, and forget such idea, but you, you are not like them! The bad personality created by the environment you have been living in since your childhood always renders you low self-esteem and self-denial. When you encounter such situation, you will not turn outside ( by “outside” we mean “do the things you ought to do and do not mind however weird the idea or action is), but inside (by “inside” we mean you begin to deny or refuse such idea when you encounter it, you begin to think “why such idea came across my mind”, “I cannot let that happen”, “I must get rid all of these weird ideas, which will make me comfortable”), now you begin to fight these ideas over and over again. “Everything has its reason to be there including all of your weird ideas if the law of nature makes it to appear there, even god cannot help you to escape from it”, calmly and carefully taste these words, you will get much. If you understood this “ultimate truth” in the first place, you would not become what you are like today! If you understood however weird the idea or action is, it is created by so many factors including external environment and internal mind or personality, it is REASONABLE to be there, you will not fight it or try to free yourself from it, it would not haunt you like this today! But you never think this way, you have been trying to fight it, try to deny it rather than accept it, you would find that the more fiercely you fight it, the more fiercely it would counter-fight you. You have spent all the energy in the battle and feel so exhausted, but you enemy is always stronger than you however hard you try! Who has made it to grow so strong and so powerful, YOU!, you are not killing it but irrigate it, stop that at once! You have gone the wrong direction, turn back at once, what are you waiting for All in all, the essence of OCD is that “ you are trying to deny yourself”, “you are trying to escape from yourself” , Is that possible Imagine if you pull your hair upward wishing to lift yourself up from the floor, will that happen I believe your answer is definitely “No”, but I tell you, actually you are doing the same thing as hair-pulling, and you have been doing it for many years maybe, will you continue to do it It is up to you! OCD is an extreme expression or outburst of Low Self-esteem or Self-denial. Please note that not only OCD, all the other mental disorders ( including all kinds of Phobia, Depression, Insomnia, etc ) share the same feature. To be more accurate, The essence of all the persistent mental sufferings is extremely low self-esteem (inferiority complex) or Self-denial. You are trying to abandon yourself, you are trying to escape from yourself, you are willing to do anything else except the complete acceptance of yourself. You have gone against the law of nature, so you will be punished for doing so. It is simple! You keep going forward, trying to find where the way out is, but the way out is just behind, only by turning back will you find it. “Accept Yourself”, this is the maxim you can find in almost all the oriental lore such as Buddhism Scriptures. Yes, you are so painful just because you cannot accept yourself, you hate yourself, you cannot tolerate yourself for even one second. Every morning just after waking up, you start to fight yourself! Your activate every muscle, using every method you can find to “kill” yourself, you search throughout all the Books and Articles about Psychology, wishing to find a way to eliminate those ideas which are making yourself? uncomfortable even painful. The more exhausted you are, the more bravely you fight! You wish to pay any cost to kill the true “yourself”, which is an objective presence in the world. You even don’t give yourself one second to take a breath. You will only give up when you have no energy left, maybe you will find when you come up with the idea of “give up”, you will suddenly feel relaxed and comfortable, but it will only last for a short time. Some friends have told me that they will suddenly feel comfortable when they decide to see a therapist, only the idea of seeing a therapist will make him feel better, interesting In fact, when you decide to see a therapist, you are actually doing the similar things as “give up”. You might say to yourself “ I really have no way of dealing with it, I will see if a therapist can help me.” Ask yourself: When will I be able to jump out of the cave of OCD When will I jump out of the cycle of OCD Do you know the Newton Law on force and counteractive force.. Where there is a force, there is a counterwork. Where there is suppression, there is confrontation. Where there is a fight, there is a counter-fight. That is just the feature of OCD. So “acceptance” rather than “fight” is the only way out. However, when we speak of “acceptance”, we must point out we must accept it from the bottom of our hearts, accept it heartily and completely rather than only accept it on the surface. Here, real and complete acceptance is a must. If you really accept from the bottom of your heart, even if you are fighting, actually you are accepting. If you just accept it on the surface, even if you are accepting, actually you are fighting. Dear friends, do you really understand the 2 sentences above If you do, you have taken a big step forward. Thanks for reading.