natalie

I am so sorry to hear about your struggles. But is they any comfort in numbers? Some say there is. Anyhow I suffer from similar obsessions with my boyfriends. And yes it can be very damaging to the relationship. I have wasted so much of my time worrying about the "what if" I cant even begin to tell you. I will say that a bahavior therapist that is trained in the treatment of OCD will be able to give you tools that will help you stop the complusive asking for reassurance. I have also had to tell my boyfriend that he is only to reassure me once and after that I have to get the reasurance from myself. The anxiety boils over when I cant ask for it, but after a while it subsides and you realize that you can have that security all on your own. No ammount of attention or reasurance from another person will fix the obsession permanantly. we have to do that on our own. Its very hard. Look for a good doc and keep your head up. we are all stronger than we think and can beat this disorder. natalie

I have had hypermorality OCD for as long as I can remember. Going all the way back to the sixth grade. As a child I would feel guilt over minor infractions to the point of sheer panic. The only way that I could relive the anxiety would be to confess my "wrongdoing" so that person(s) would give the reassurance that I needed to feel better about the situation. Over the years there have been countless situations where I have confessed to a person about something and they looked at me like I was crazy, like they could not understand why I would be so upset about something so small. I have spent hours thinking about just how I would confess so that I could get the reaction that I needed to subside the anxiety. You can only imagine that it goes on and on from there. In the last few years my obsession has become more refined. I now spend most of my time worrying if I am a good girlfriend or not. Going over conversations, situations, anything and analyzing them to death looking for anything that I could have done wrong and then would result in my significant other leaving me beacuse I was a "bad" person. I worry alot about my boyfriend thinking that I might cheat on him or disrespect him in a similar way. Sometimes I even avoid conversation or situations with other men so that I do not have to worry if he thinks I might be cheating. I even go as far as to think that talking to other men actually IS cheating. I feel soooo crazy. It has been the hardest battle I have ever had to fight. sincerly, exhausted.