Hello everyone,
I'm sure that all of you know exactly how terrifying and painful this all this all is and so understand just why I need to get all of this out and seek some reassurance. I sincerely apologise for the length of this post and thank you so much for reading it; I just need to put the whole story out in front of people who truly know and ask - in your opinion does this actually sound like PANS/PANDAS or not?
I live in theUK. My very normal 6 year old daughter developed very sudden onset of behavioural/psychiatric/emotional problems around 4 weeks ago. In simplest terms, it seemed as if she went to bed one night a perfectly normal child and woke up the next day a completely different one.
Her symptoms began with extreme anxiety with repetitive, continual obsessing about various illogical "worries" and what I can only describe as depression. It was whilst searching for information about extreme childhood anxiety that I came across the first mention of PANDAS. Once I delved further, so much of Grace's behaviour became clear to me (or I might be clutching at straws) in the light of understanding exactly what PANDAS is. She is not suffering from any tics etc. as far as I can tell, with the exception of sometimes blowing bubbles from her mouth and a bit of repetitive "fake" coughing, but it is hard to be sure at this stage what is relevant and what is not and of course, nothing like as severe as I have read with most other PANDAS children. Over the weeks the anxiety began to be accompanied by what I can only describe as ADD type behaviour at school - inability to concentrate, oppositionally defiant etc. Her school work completely deteriorated and her teachers share my view that it appears her personality has completely changed (she was previously a bright, fairly well behaved pupil who has always been above average academically). Her symptoms in a nutshell were as follows:
- Incessant, illogical worrying, impossible to reason with (this seemed to reach a peak before easing off a little)
- Paranoia (at the moment she is convinced I am not her "real" mother, full of conspiracy theories surrounding this, is having thoughts about me dying etc.)
- Extreme emotional lability (lots of crying without knowing why or for reasons mentioned above)
- Inability to concentrate
- Oppositional/defiant behaviour (especially at school)
There are of course many other factors that could account for Grace's behaviour (family upset, genetic mental illness - history of depression and bipolar disorder on paternal and maternal sides) but the very sudden onset and correlation of her symptoms with those of PANS/PANDAS make the chances of PANS/PANDAS being responsible seem possible. I have also come across some links to this kind of behaviour and Lymes disease, I have not been able to find much more information about it but wonder if it could be relevant as Grace was recently on holiday with me in Canada where we spent some time in and around a local creek area.
I managed to convince our local dr (who has never heard of PANS but was very nice and didn't dismiss the idea) to prescribe Amoxicillin and within 3 days there was a huge improvement (but is this just coincidence?). Bloods (ESR, CRP, ASO and antiDNAse) were taken yesterday, the dr called this morning to say that the ASO won't be back until next week but what he had so far showed "normal" except one which suggests she may have had an infection a while ago.
Now on only day 5 of the antib's and ibuprofen twice a day she is almost back to her old self, I would say probably 80%, massive improvement at school and has been laughing and chatting normally with me today, if a little hypercactive.. All that seems to be left is this worry about me not being her mother. It just seems so odd for her to be completely logical and normal in every way except for this one thing. She has managed to get through the whole day interacting fairly normally with me and then just before bed, very matter of factly tells me she is still convinced that I am not her mother and that she has told her teachers today. We have always been incredibly close and I know her inside out; I can tell this is not something she is faking or saying deliberately. I am terrified that this is not PANS/PANDAS and that my little girl is just instead psycholocally disturbed.
So there we are. Enough evidence for PANDAS or not? I am quite literally driving myself to the edge of sanity by continually searching online and trying to figure this all out, not to mention coping with the pain of the way my little girl currently feels about me so any opinions at all, either way, would help me enormously. Thank you so much xxx