thoughtsofthemind

I feel all of your pain. I was living a normal life until I was 19. I then started thinking all kinds of sick sexual stuff. Anything your mind could imagine, I thought. It got so bad, that I looked at everyone and everything around me and I could think of sexual thoughts of them. I could not understand what was wrong with me. It was killing me that I could be like that. I thought if any of my friends or family knew, they'd hate me for sure. I would be around a male friend, a sexual thought. I would thinking, what in the world is wrong with you? That's sick. It's been seven years since, and it gets in it's real bad points and then they subside. But when it's bad, I just want to die. I am afraid to even hold a child because a thought comes into my head and I think I'm some sick pedophile and I should be shot. Does this mean I'm sicker than everyone else on here? I know I am attracted to females. Heck, an attractive female flirts heavily with me, it makes my day. So why these thoughts? I want this to go away. I want to live normally, not have thoughts that make me feel like scum of the earth. I am glad I can release this off my chest. It's weighed on me for so many years, seven!!!!