Hello, I am 23, shameful thoughts have also plagued my mind as well. I would't consider myself OCD, at least not at an extreme level, maybe I am I do not know for now. But, I have had sexual thoughts about my aunts and cousins, even my grandmother. that last one was really nasty however it was more of a sexual thrill of disgust I guess. I don't usually look at her in that way, however my aunts and cousins I do. it's disturbing, hasn't always been just in my head though, I've masturbated to the thoughts before. afterwards I am full of regret and shame, what would give me these thoughts and impulses? Is it some cognitive or thought problem in my head, are some people just born with attraction to family members while others see the barrier between family relations much clearer? Or is it some supernatural or even religious aspect of it, the Devil, or demon, some sort of ruite of Evil that lurks in all of us and is brought out some way shape or form? I fight it as much as i can, deep down I know I have a good heart and I try to do the right thing, but I slip up and make mistakes, I'm glad its only thoughts and masturbating and not some sicker physical form of obsession. *although masturbating to cousins and aunts is pretty bad* I have had other thoughts and symptoms, but too much has been said already. I would like some help someone to talk to as well for I do not let many people in, ironically though I can talk to people online who can't always see my face much easier. I'd like some help as well and if I can offer some advice to, well as long as it stays in the head and out of the bed, its not harming anyone, your actions make who you are not what you think.
