i agree, seeing other people that had similar thoughts helped me slightly, but i still can't get the thoughts out of my head. im on 5-htp and and its helping some but every day is a struggle. i keep having these obsessive thoughts, or "fears" about homosexuality. just certain situations make me freak out and get scared , like when a guy has his shirt off or if i see roomates boxers or what have you. it really pisses me off, because i never ever had homosexual thoughts before. i hate the thoughts, and would give anything to go back to the way my mind was before. i'm not having desires or anything, just thoughts and fears and questions of DO I REALLY LIKE GIRLS? or i'll think about how horrible my life would be and it just drives me nuts....i went to a dr about it and he said i have severe anxiety (which i already knew) and some ocd ... my whole anxiety thing started this past spring (2006) after i had a huge panic attack which landed me in the hospital. i had been smoking a pack a day for three years, smoking more pot in a week than most have in their lives, and drinking every night i stopped cold turkey on all of those for a good 2 months or so, and began to drink again, nothing real serious, but the anxiety and panic attacks remained occaisionally. also, now every word i hear on tv that is semi-sexual or can be turned into a sexual word catches my attention and freaks me out/scares me.....i still drink all the time, and my dr says that my alcoholism is lowering my serotonin levels, making me more susceptable to ocd and anxiety. another example of my ocd/anxiety is last saturday, my friend was being an idiot and sprayed some kind of keyboard cleaning stuff at me, and it kind of got me in the ear. we read the label and said it could be fatal to inhale, and i freaked out inside and couldn't stop worrying about it, even tho almost nothing of it touched my ear, simply amazing. the same thing happened last year when someone sprayed orange cleaner at me and some got in my drink, i drank it and swore i was like poisoned and couldn't stop worrying about it....these type of worries seem to go away with assurance that they aren't real, but still i have other thoughts that i can't stop worrying about on occasion. i just don't understand why this homosexual thought thing won't completely go away, and why some days its worse than others....im a sophomore in college at a big university, so you can only imagine how horrible every day is for me....any help would be awesome
