Hey everybody,
newbie here So glad I found this site! I just wanted your opinions on how bad you think my ODC is (sorry, you've probably had to answer the same question over and over again)..
A bit about my background - my dad died when I was 3, I was bullied most of my school life and I've been cheated on in the past by numerous partners
As far back as I remember, I've had OCD's from being a child but only recently I think they've spiralled out of control.
It all seemed to start when I met my partner, whom I love profoundly. I have developed an uncanny obsession of thinking about and fearing that he's going to die whenever I'm not with him (I'm normally worse at night). Everytime he exits my front door and drives off into the distance, I wonder if it's going to be the last time I ever see him again. That's the last time I saw my dad also, going out of my front door.
It's so bad I have to exhaust myself by drawing or writing in bed 'til early hours, so I'm too tired to think about negative things.
Since all this started I have the following rituals:
- reading the bible every night and praying
- touching things with my left hand more than once
- opening and closing doors at least twice
- having to blink 25 times before shutting the front door
- before locking the front door, thinking of me and my partners future
- touching the stairs once before going up them
- blinking when I go up every 4th stair
- checking the electricity, doors and windows before I go out or go to bed
- kissing every picture of my partner in my bedroom twice before I go to bed
- touching the floor 128 times with my right foot before I get into bed
- holding my breath when I get into bed
- holding my breath when I turn lights off
- scratching and picking at my scalp
- looking at myself in a mirror 2/4 times before walking away from it
lmao - quite a few there!
Sorry for the long post.... I just hope somebody can tell me how bad my OCD is and if I really need help
Thanks,
Helen (19)
