Toaster82

Well, this is really sad, but I haven't checked back to this forum for 3 years. I checked back today because I am once again suffereing from ROCD. The first Post i made was when i was 23. I'm now 26 going through the exact same relationships problems, only now with a new person. I can't stop obsessing that my boyfriend is still in love with his ex. I compile lists in my head of why this is so, like the fact that they were together for 10 years, or something he has said about her ...it goes on an on. I obsess, i try to find old pictures of them together. I feel like i HAVE to do these things because it will somehow stop me from worrying, but it doesn't. I feel so crazy right now...and I feel like I will never have a normal relationship. I have been to a number of therapists, been on several different drugs. I no longer know what to do.

I'm new to this whole forum thing, but i was hoping to find someone that can help me out, or maybe share some similar stories to help me out. I'm 23, and i'm had ocd since i was about 12 or 13(thats when i first started noticing the symptoms anyway). Through the years i've been on different anti-depressants to try to help calm the obsessions and compulsions, and i've been to numerous counselors. Although I am much better today than 10 years ago..i still constantly have struggles with it and it just drives me crazy. The thing is..i have a very difficult time in dating relationships because of my OCD. Normal things that any person would worry about, i blow up into a huge ordeal. It's like i can't even differentiate what is a "normal" thing to fight about, and what is "not normal". I have a hard time trusting people because i have been hurt in the past. Then my OCD kicks in and i assume that anyone i'm with is going to hurt me. I obsess a lot about my current boyfriends X girlfriend. I'm constantly obsessing that he will take her back or that maybe he still has feeling for her- even thought he tells me that none of this is true. I constantly question and obsess over how much he really cares about me or whether he even cares about me at all. I'm sick of ruining relationships because of obsessing about them. I was just wondering if anyone out there has any similar problems.