Hi Everyone!
I'm glad I found this forum, because I need advise badly. I've been married to my husband for almost 10 yrs and for the first 4 yrs or so he didn't seem to have emotional problems. For the last several yrs, although granted we have had a lot of stresses in our marriage, like most others, he has become too unstable to live with. Now before you get down on me, please understand that I Know how emotional problems can effect someone, as I have depression, anxiety and panic.
That said, lately he has become so obessed with an actress and is doing anything he can to meet her, writes to her, gave her his cell phone #....ect....This hurts me even though I know this will never happen for him. He goes from one actress to another, But this time is really bad. It's all he talks about and I mean all. He can't concentrate on work, home, our marriage or even going to my parents for Easter dinner. He says he's not living in reality right now and he WILL meet her. He is on several meds for many problems, but I'm going to call his Dr tomorrow and see if he can help. My husband will not go to therapy on a weekly basis, just gets meds from a dr every 6 weeks. I don't think this is right and I told the dr this several weeks ago.
I feel so badly for him, but I'm living on a thread, literally. He is very emotionally abusive to me. I can't leave because I don't have anywhere to go, but even if I did, I don't know how to leave someone this sick. I wait on him hand and foot and if I don't, he lays a huge guilt trip on me and makes life so much harder. I'm asking anyone here for advise. Please help me to stick this out. Is there any hope for us? It's been like this for yrs.
Edited to add that I feel that someday I will be in danger, maybe I am already. As a rule he doesn't get angry alot, but when he does he looks at me like he is crazy and it really scares me. He sleeps from early morning into the afternoon and during the work week he goes to sleep from about 5 am until 8:30, goes to work, comes home for lunch, sleeps, comes home for dinner, sleeps and then maybe goes out at night between 10 and 11 for a coffee. He never sleeps with me, always in the familyroom which he calls his bedroom. He always asks me what I am doing even though I am right in front of him...he wants to know what I am doing on the computer, in the kitchen, bedroom, ect. I work parttime in a high school and now he is constantly telling me the custodians want me, as my ex is a custodian, but does not work in my school. He is completely convinced my exc wants me back. My ex just went through another divorce and he kkeps saying I'm going back to live with him that's why he got divorced. I have No intention of that and never implied it! He hates my two kids, yet tried to tolerate them. They are 23 and 16. 16 yr old is with us and is a very good son. He is afraid of my husabnd, hardly says boo to him, stays in his room most of the time. I feel so bad. I don't know what to do. I don't have money for therapy as he has total control of it. So sorry to vent, I'm just scared. Oh and also, he and I belonged to a gym a few yrs ago. He named the guys that worked out in the gym "frogs". I guess because they were so big on top, and they looked like frogs to him. Anyway, every since then, that has been my name, "frog". That is all he calls me. I always hated it, but he says it's a term of endearment? I don't get it. I'm so upset all the time, please help me.
