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Hello all. I am a lifelong OCD sufferer who is going off to college in the fall and really need some support. I would like to share my story with you.

 

I have suffered from very severe OCD for my entire life. I was hospitalized on my 14th birthday a few weeks into my freshmen year of high school because my symptoms became so severe that I was not able to eat or function and had dropped into a starvation state. I was medicated with prozac and antipsychotics (risperdone) all through high school and was basically a zombie the entire time. I don't really remember high school very much.

I gained 100 lbs. on risperdone and my senior year I finally said enough is enough and stopped taking it about a month before I graduated in 2006. At this point I was almost 18 and supposed to be going off to college but I was so behind developmentally that this was simply not possible so I opted to go to a community college and try to transfer.

Now I'm 21 and for the past 3 1/2 years I have been going to a community college. I finished up in December and have been waiting this semester at home to transfer. I have come so far yet I've hit another crisis I have developed an unaxplained medical condition involving unexplained pain and ringing in my ears (tinnitus) that my doctors are unable to diagnose much less treat and my severe OCD symptoms are returning as a result of the anxiety involved with not knowing what is wrong with me.

I have been accepted into UCLA and am supposed to be starting there in a few months. I am finally supposed to be getting my chance to be go off to college and have that experience that I never got in high school or at the community college but my symptoms are increasing.

I'v gone back on prozac but have seen no improvement in my symptoms. I know I can't go back on risperdone because it makes me a zombie and doesn't really do much for my severe OCD anyway.

I want the chance to go off to college so bad yet I know that if I go live on my own for the first time in this state I might crash and burn. I'm really looking for some support or advice from someone here who can maybe help me.

Thank you

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Hello all. I am a lifelong OCD sufferer who is going off to college in the fall and really need some support. I would like to share my story with you.

 

I have suffered from very severe OCD for my entire life. I was hospitalized on my 14th birthday a few weeks into my freshmen year of high school because my symptoms became so severe that I was not able to eat or function and had dropped into a starvation state. I was medicated with prozac and antipsychotics (risperdone) all through high school and was basically a zombie the entire time. I don't really remember high school very much.

I gained 100 lbs. on risperdone and my senior year I finally said enough is enough and stopped taking it about a month before I graduated in 2006. At this point I was almost 18 and supposed to be going off to college but I was so behind developmentally that this was simply not possible so I opted to go to a community college and try to transfer.

Now I'm 21 and for the past 3 1/2 years I have been going to a community college. I finished up in December and have been waiting this semester at home to transfer. I have come so far yet I've hit another crisis I have developed an unaxplained medical condition involving unexplained pain and ringing in my ears (tinnitus) that my doctors are unable to diagnose much less treat and my severe OCD symptoms are returning as a result of the anxiety involved with not knowing what is wrong with me.

I have been accepted into UCLA and am supposed to be starting there in a few months. I am finally supposed to be getting my chance to be go off to college and have that experience that I never got in high school or at the community college but my symptoms are increasing.

I'v gone back on prozac but have seen no improvement in my symptoms. I know I can't go back on risperdone because it makes me a zombie and doesn't really do much for my severe OCD anyway.

I want the chance to go off to college so bad yet I know that if I go live on my own for the first time in this state I might crash and burn. I'm really looking for some support or advice from someone here who can maybe help me.

Thank you

Have you ever looked into a possible underlying medical cause for your OCD symptoms? The fact that you have major flares (like when you were 14) and are refractory to SSRI therapy, raises the possibility that this could be related to an infectious agent of some sort. Please do some reading on the PANDAS/PITAND board and see if this is something that you might want to explore further. If you have an underlying immune problem, treating that can go a long way towards resolving OCD symptoms.

 

Wish you all the best. This is a difficult disorder to live with.

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  • 1 month later...

Oh please hang in there! You've come so far, you obviously have a lot of strength and determination! You can do this, and you can get some additional help, as well.

 

Like Peglem said, I would look into whether or not there might be some other condition underlying the OCD that, if treated, might render the OCD itself more treatable. My son was diagnosed with OCD at 6 and has his first significant flare at 7, at which point we allowed him to be put on an SSRI (Lexapro). He did well for several years, taking the Lexapro and attending cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). But when he turned 12, the OCD came to the forefront with such intensity that we didn't know what was going on. He'd not experienced any fresh trauma, any major changes in anything, and yet the OCD took off like a rocket. We changed and increased dosages on so many SSRI's over the next several months, and none of that made any difference in his condition. We, too, tried heavier hammers like risperdol, zyprexa, seroquel; they did nothing for him but, like you said, make him a zombie. They did nothing to help relieve the underlying anxiety.

 

Finally, last fall, we tested him for strep and overactive strep antibodies; he'd never had strep throat at all, but once we got the blood test results, we found out he did, in fact, have a strep infection somewhere and that his antibodies were in overdrive. There may well be more to his OCD, given how long he's had it (not unlike you), but he also had the PANDAS condition. Once we started treating him with antibiotics, everything else improved. His OCD has been stepping down, bit by bit, for the last year. He's on another SSRI now at a very low dose, and getting good results from it. And he's in weekly exposure response prevention (ERP) therapy.

 

I didn't see you mention in your post anything regarding ERP. Have you tried it? Whether PANDAS is in your mix or not, I know that studies have shown that the best response to OCD is a combination of ERP and medicine. Perhaps you've been down that road or are still in therapy now, but I truly recommend it for you, if not. It really works!

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Hello all. I am a lifelong OCD sufferer who is going off to college in the fall and really need some support. I would like to share my story with you.

 

I have suffered from very severe OCD for my entire life. I was hospitalized on my 14th birthday a few weeks into my freshmen year of high school because my symptoms became so severe that I was not able to eat or function and had dropped into a starvation state. I was medicated with prozac and antipsychotics (risperdone) all through high school and was basically a zombie the entire time. I don't really remember high school very much.

I gained 100 lbs. on risperdone and my senior year I finally said enough is enough and stopped taking it about a month before I graduated in 2006. At this point I was almost 18 and supposed to be going off to college but I was so behind developmentally that this was simply not possible so I opted to go to a community college and try to transfer.

Now I'm 21 and for the past 3 1/2 years I have been going to a community college. I finished up in December and have been waiting this semester at home to transfer. I have come so far yet I've hit another crisis I have developed an unaxplained medical condition involving unexplained pain and ringing in my ears (tinnitus) that my doctors are unable to diagnose much less treat and my severe OCD symptoms are returning as a result of the anxiety involved with not knowing what is wrong with me.

I have been accepted into UCLA and am supposed to be starting there in a few months. I am finally supposed to be getting my chance to be go off to college and have that experience that I never got in high school or at the community college but my symptoms are increasing.

I'v gone back on prozac but have seen no improvement in my symptoms. I know I can't go back on risperdone because it makes me a zombie and doesn't really do much for my severe OCD anyway.

I want the chance to go off to college so bad yet I know that if I go live on my own for the first time in this state I might crash and burn. I'm really looking for some support or advice from someone here who can maybe help me.

Thank you

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Hi

 

I am so sorry to hear of your problems with OCD. Mine (severe contamination OCD) started when I was 22 but I had depression from 13 years onwards and I now realise I had religiosity from the age of 16 at the latest. Mine was clearly inherited, but I think I may be a PANDAS case too. I had never heard of this before. But after several strep infections and a tonsillectomy I did get depression and then OCD. So it seems like this was not a coincidence.

 

I am now 62 years old and have had fairly good control since 1996 when I went as a voluntary inpatient in the Bethlem Hospital UK and had intensive ERP. As a result I was able to make it through Uni as a mature student. I have had two relpases in the last year but with the help of ERP and CBT and a small dose of citalopam to relieve the panic attacks and quieten the thoughts I am on the way up again. 10mg a day is enough to take the edge off it without taking away my ability to concentrate on my research.

 

I am not sure what your symptoms are but I do think that ERP helps if you have compulsions. There are also a lot of very good self help books which may help. I personallly love 'CBT for Dummies', 'OCD for Dummies,' and Jonathon Grayson's 'Freedom from Obsessive Compuslive Disorder.' there are some wonderful self help tips in there.

 

I do so hope you make it to UCLA. I found that studying did my OCD the world of good. While I was researching and writing essays I had no time to listen to my endless obsessional thoughts. This is also why I am writing my book on OCD. My therapist encouraged me to do it as part of my therapy and I have found that sharing with other OCDers is an amazing and helpful experience.

 

Very best wishes

Anne

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