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You have alot of insight for someone your age and your mom should be proud of you!Have you thought about a job in the medical field for the future?I hope that you are able to enjoy the rest of the summer.(My daughter is 7 and not able to do things as much as we used to and now she has the thought stuck in her head that she is weird.I know how frustrating it is!)Take Care!

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When she expressed interest in getting on antibiotics to make me "all better", I told her quite bluntly that he was diagnosed & treated fairly early, & that even though treatments saved Sammy that I don't think there will be anything that can save me. I'm come to terms with it.

 

I feel SO bad that my Mom can't just have a normal kid, like all the other Moms she knows that don't have to worry about panic attacks or random rages. But I think tonight was a gigantic step in her understanding. After we were done talking, she mentioned that she had noticed me ticcing, which meant a lot. She even noticed something that I hadn't, that my voice has gotten consistenly deeper & raspier over the past month. Knowing that she IS paying attention was so good to hear.

Now you listen here, young lady - THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A NORMAL KID! Not a single person walking this earth is "normal." Not one. And no parent I know would ever want to trade their child in for a different model. There are 20 kids on our little cul-de-sac. Not a single one is as awesome as my Pandas son (except maybe my daughter). Do I wish I'd never heard of Pandas? Absolutely. But not because of what I've had to go through. Only because of what he's had to go through. He is not a burden - he is a gift. I would not trade him for anything or anyone in this world.

 

I know that at 15, you won't understand this. You'll think, oh, well that's Laura. My situation is different. I'm a disappointment or a burden or....(insert negative teen feeling here) and if she knew my family, she'd know what I mean. When I was a teen, I could see lots of things wrong with me. It wasn't until I had my own kids that it struck me. When you have a child, it's like the Grinch Who Stole Christmas - remember the ending where his heart grows? That's what happens. Don't think for one split second that your mom is in any way disappointed in you. She may not always respond the way you wish, but that doesn't mean you don't rock her world.

Edited by LLM
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Gatito - Me encanto tu username. :) & no, I really haven't! :/ I want to be an editor at a publishing company. I LOVE words. I do plan on volunteering at my hospital when I get a car though. Even though it's not really "my" hospital anymore, I still feel a loyalty to Cook's Children's & all of it's patients.

 

LLM - I guess you're right about there being no normal. BUT, some of us are closer than others. When I was crusading for Pepsi votes a boy from my Geometry class said "You have this?" & I said "Yes." & he said "Well, if it made you you then I'm thankful for it; it can't be that bad." While I was actually pretty offended by that comment in particular, I DO love myself & when I call myself a freak or weird or anything like that, I might mean it at a bad time, but at the end of the day... I AM a freak, & there is nothing wrong with that. :)

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LLM - I guess you're right about there being no normal. BUT, some of us are closer than others. When I was crusading for Pepsi votes a boy from my Geometry class said "You have this?" & I said "Yes." & he said "Well, if it made you you then I'm thankful for it; it can't be that bad." While I was actually pretty offended by that comment in particular, I DO love myself & when I call myself a freak or weird or anything like that, I might mean it at a bad time, but at the end of the day... I AM a freak, & there is nothing wrong with that. :)

 

Ok, I am middle aged and way out of touch. So maybe someone can help me understand. To me, the boy's comments sound like he likes you. I'm not getting why you'd be offended. What am I missing?

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LLM - I guess you're right about there being no normal. BUT, some of us are closer than others. When I was crusading for Pepsi votes a boy from my Geometry class said "You have this?" & I said "Yes." & he said "Well, if it made you you then I'm thankful for it; it can't be that bad." While I was actually pretty offended by that comment in particular, I DO love myself & when I call myself a freak or weird or anything like that, I might mean it at a bad time, but at the end of the day... I AM a freak, & there is nothing wrong with that. :)

 

Ok, I am middle aged and way out of touch. So maybe someone can help me understand. To me, the boy's comments sound like he likes you. I'm not getting why you'd be offended. What am I missing?

 

Haha! He might have. But it was still kind of offensive for someone to basically imply that my disease was anything good or beneficial, ya know?

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Ok, I feel less old. Thanks.

But consider this - the best college professor I ever had was an intense, passionate, cranky old man who had served as an undersecretary of commerce under President Johnson. He had traveled the world and taught about understanding different cultures and fully grasping what made people in those cultures tick. He was amazing. He once confided that he would never have become what he had, would have never have lived the life he had, if he had not had a debilitating disease in childhood that kept him bed0ridden for two years and required several years more to recover. During that time, he could not participate in regular kid activities and he had to read as his only activity. That forced him to learn much about a wide range of things. So it was his hardship that made the man.

 

I saw a show on the history channel the other week about Tesla - not only was he a great inventor and scientist, he had a generous spirit and wicked OCD and adhd. He probably had Pandas (seriously). His OCD made it impossible for him to marry (women wearing jewelry repulsed him). But it gave him endless time to spend int he lab. And we all benefit.

 

Sometimes gifts come disguised as struggles. Your Pandas has driven you to great introspection, and we are all benefiting from your insights. Don't mean to offend you in any way, but I think that boy is pretty wise. He just might be worth a second look :D

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Ok, I feel less old. Thanks.

But consider this - the best college professor I ever had was an intense, passionate, cranky old man who had served as an undersecretary of commerce under President Johnson. He had traveled the world and taught about understanding different cultures and fully grasping what made people in those cultures tick. He was amazing. He once confided that he would never have become what he had, would have never have lived the life he had, if he had not had a debilitating disease in childhood that kept him bed0ridden for two years and required several years more to recover. During that time, he could not participate in regular kid activities and he had to read as his only activity. That forced him to learn much about a wide range of things. So it was his hardship that made the man.

 

I saw a show on the history channel the other week about Tesla - not only was he a great inventor and scientist, he had a generous spirit and wicked OCD and adhd. He probably had Pandas (seriously). His OCD made it impossible for him to marry (women wearing jewelry repulsed him). But it gave him endless time to spend int he lab. And we all benefit.

 

Sometimes gifts come disguised as struggles. Your Pandas has driven you to great introspection, and we are all benefiting from your insights. Don't mean to offend you in any way, but I think that boy is pretty wise. He just might be worth a second look :D

 

That made me feel a lot better! Thank you very much for that. :)

I've never looked at it like that before.

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