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Just for the sisters......... .......(sorry boys.... :ph34r: )

 

"Why Men Pee Standing Up"

 

Seems God was just about done with creating the universe -- but he had two extra things left over in his bag, so he decided to split them between Adam and Eve.

 

He told them that one of the things he had left was a thing that would allow the owner to pee while standing up. "It's a very handy thing," God told them, "and I was wondering if either one of you would like that."

 

Well, Adam jumped up and down and begged "Oh, give that to me! I'd love to be able to do that. It seems just the sort of thing a man should be able to do. Please. Please! Pleeease! Give it to me." On and on he went like an excited little boy.

 

So Eve just smiled and told God that if Adam really wanted it so badly, he should have it. So God gave Adam the thing that allowed him to pee while standing up and he was so excited. He whizzed on the bark of a tree and then went off to write his name in the sand, laughing with delight all the while.

 

God and Eve watched him for a moment and then God said to Eve, "Well, here's the other thing -- and I guess you can have it."

 

"What's it called?" Eve asked.

 

 

"Brains!" God said.

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

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My husband took an active interest after our dx, and did lots of initial research, but he thinks I've become too consumed by it. Well - duh! I had a beautiful little boy, perfect manners, very mellow and he just one day woke up the spawn of all evil! Of course I'm consumed.

 

It became running fights in our house as to how much I was focusing on my son and his issues over everything else. But there has been a change lately!

 

Ironically, since the Pepsi Refresh campaign started, my husband seems to have finally gotten on the bandwagon. He was forwarding the message to vote on his facebook, via email, grudgingly mostly because he knew he'd face ###### at the end of the day if he didn't. But as he spread the word, and more people started asking him questions, he seemed to have a spark lit up. And now he's the one making sure I voted, posted to FB, etc. The other day he even called me and asked if we had a sorority list serv or fan page that I could post to - that would be a good place for support.

 

Hopefully his new found support lasts long after WE WIN the 50k!!

 

And loved the joke by the way!!!

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This has been a rough few days...sorry for all the posts. I am just sitting here crying, worrying about my children. I feel at this moment that I am the only one worried about them. DH is supportive of what I think we should be doing, but at the same time he looks at me kind of like I am crazy when I tell him all the stuff I am learning. Tell me, do you feel like the only parent spending hours on end on the computer researching and reading and making phone calls? I feel like I am all consumed with this and although I would go to the ends of the earth for my boys, it would be nice if my DH was on the same trip with me. I am tired of hearing whatever you think we should do when I want to here, "let me read that...I found this out and that out..."and I want him to be as curious and knowledge seeking as I am. I have a wonderful DH who would do anything for his boys. I just want him to know and really understand more about what may be happening with them. He is stuck on thinking that if we just find them someone to put them on Antibiotics they will be cured and he doesn't understand it is not as easy as that and can and will likely be way more complicated.

 

Anyway, just needed another vent. Feeling better already.

 

In a word, Nope.

 

DH has struggled all along accepting that something just wasn't right. Even now, he just pretty much lets me deal with it. I've come to accept it for the most part. For some reason he just can't deal with it and there is no way I'm going to be able to make that happen if he just isn't in the right mental place. At least he is not longer in complete denial like he was for the entire first year we were dealing with the OCD.

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I wonder if it's at all related to the "Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus" theory. My husband is very supportive but I think between being a man and wanting to "fix it" right away and then not having the patience to understand all the science behind this stuff, he tends to defer the research to me and then have me summarize to him when necesary. We've kind of fallen into this routine and so far it works for us. He's also the first one to proclaim a play day on the weekends though and for that I am very grateful just to have a "vacation" from research and appts.

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You must be my husband's other wife! :(

 

My hub was exactly that way. And when I found new info or finally made sense of something, I'd share it- because I was excited about it but also because talking about it w/ somebody helps me get it solidly fixed in my brain. He didn't try to get it for a long time, mostly because he didn't see that my knowing or his knowing would get us any help for our daughter. We've been through many doctors who did nothing to help. What finally turned the tide- when we got the Cunningham results (I kind of did it behind his back- he did not want to spend the money). Seeing our daughter's results on the CamK graph, solidly in the sydenham's range, and seeing Dr. Cunningham's notes...he started asking questions. That "something tangible to hold onto" finally got through to him. Thank God I had this forum, so mostly I could answer his questions. He started going to doc appointments with us and participating...and when local specialists decided not to treat and referred us to a PANDAS specialist all the way across the country from us....he was supportive! I still do all the "leg work" as far as finding out info, but its been such a blessing to have him on the team!

 

I hope my words of encouragement will help but hang in there. I believe eventually your husband will come around. There were times I was ready for him to get his things and leave.He did not support me, he hated the fact I was spending so much money to learn nothing. I went behind his back and told him the Cunningham labs were free if you participated in the research. When the results came in he was a little convinced but still did not participated in any of the research or never asked, "are you okay" I was exhausted. I am exhausted. I scheduled an appointment in California with Dr. Lin this past Monday. We live in NM and it takes 19 hours to get there. He refused to go and finally when I said with you without I am driving to this appointment he agreed to come with. After the visit with Dr. Lin my husband changed his attitude and was so thankful for the many hours I have spent researching. The doctor looked at me and told me you do not need to justify your sons symptoms/behaviors. I know what you are going through. I see mother's like you daily. Never doubt a mother's instinct. This brought tears not only to my eyes but my husbands as well.Today was our first day back and people have asked about our son and now my husband is able to give in an answer. I am so proud of him. It takes them a while to get on board but when they do climb on,it is such a BLESSING. Hang in there!! This forum has saved me.

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I'd like to know why so many of you are cheatin' with my man?!? :(

 

Love him & we are now well into this. He is supportive of her and of the search, but has NO interest in learning it himself unless it is an emergency, and then he will step up.

 

Love the joke!

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This has been a rough few days...sorry for all the posts. I am just sitting here crying, worrying about my children. I feel at this moment that I am the only one worried about them. DH is supportive of what I think we should be doing, but at the same time he looks at me kind of like I am crazy when I tell him all the stuff I am learning. Tell me, do you feel like the only parent spending hours on end on the computer researching and reading and making phone calls? I feel like I am all consumed with this and although I would go to the ends of the earth for my boys, it would be nice if my DH was on the same trip with me. I am tired of hearing whatever you think we should do when I want to here, "let me read that...I found this out and that out..."and I want him to be as curious and knowledge seeking as I am. I have a wonderful DH who would do anything for his boys. I just want him to know and really understand more about what may be happening with them. He is stuck on thinking that if we just find them someone to put them on Antibiotics they will be cured and he doesn't understand it is not as easy as that and can and will likely be way more complicated.

 

Anyway, just needed another vent. Feeling better already.

Oh, I can relate! It's pretty much the same way my DH and I started. I felt the same frustration you are feeling. Fast-foward 10 months after diagnosis... I'm still the one staying up late reading about it, the one making the appointments, the one worrying about the other children...

BUT, I think it's good NOT to have both parents consumed by this :) Really, they have to go out and work and pay all the bills for doctors appointments, supplements, etc. They have a huge responsibility. We moms see the day to day stuff and worry, they worry too, but in a different way. I don't resent it any more, but I do wish he would understand more and not give me the "whatever you think is best" reply.

In the beginning we both thought antibiotics would take care of it, and we've learn by experience it's not that simple. I think some things you just can't explain, you have to live through them.

Just think it's good for your kids to have at least one set of eyes who is looking at them and NOT wondering if it's a PANDAS behaviour!

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My husband is a wonderful father and husband, but he is not into the research like I am. I don't know why, I guess b/c we, as moms, are wired to differently. It used to annoy me, but I guess I have come to realize that it is this way in most households where the kids are sick. I have to tell you that even though I get so tired of it falling on my shoulders, I am glad it is me and not him b/c I am the one with the tenacity and the science background. We wouldn't even know that our kids have PANDAS if it were up to him. They would be zoned out on some serious meds and even still they would probably end up living out their days in psych wards (OK, maybe not, but MAYBE they would!!). My friend's son has autism and it is the same with her and her husband. These kids are part of us, the moms. When they are not well, we are not well. Plain and simple. My husband has come to recognize and understand that my happiness is tied to the wellbeing of my boys.

 

Anyway, if it helps, my husband has been much more supportive as time has gone on and he has come to accept this diagnosis (as something that is real and not something I pulled off the internet and diagnosed my kids with). He has seen the ups and downs, the tics, the OCD, the good days and the bad. Also, as we came to the point of needing IVIG, I ended up emailing him a bunch of links and I told him to read them ASAP so he could help me make an informed decision.

 

Stephanie

This has been a rough few days...sorry for all the posts. I am just sitting here crying, worrying about my children. I feel at this moment that I am the only one worried about them. DH is supportive of what I think we should be doing, but at the same time he looks at me kind of like I am crazy when I tell him all the stuff I am learning. Tell me, do you feel like the only parent spending hours on end on the computer researching and reading and making phone calls? I feel like I am all consumed with this and although I would go to the ends of the earth for my boys, it would be nice if my DH was on the same trip with me. I am tired of hearing whatever you think we should do when I want to here, "let me read that...I found this out and that out..."and I want him to be as curious and knowledge seeking as I am. I have a wonderful DH who would do anything for his boys. I just want him to know and really understand more about what may be happening with them. He is stuck on thinking that if we just find them someone to put them on Antibiotics they will be cured and he doesn't understand it is not as easy as that and can and will likely be way more complicated.

 

Anyway, just needed another vent. Feeling better already.

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you guys got cameras in my house or something! it is comforting to know i am not alone. there was a shift today. when i came home bawling from the pedis office he was very concerned. then the best thing (since he has been gone working and not been home a lot since DS5 got sick) today after school he got to see, i mean really see what i have seen over the last few days and he spent the better part of the evening staring into space. i gave him some space and then asked him what was wrong...i said you are worried aren't you, and he said yes. i started crying. i feel sorry for him. he has spent the last year and half just hoping our oldest would get back to normal because i know he has been terrified inside but rarely shows his feelings. and now this with the younger one. it is a hard blow to a man to see any child go through this. i will continue to be the knowledge seeker and appointment maker and he can continue to be my soft place to fall. that is fine, that is reality and that is my life and i do love it.

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I think we are all living with the same man! My DH is pretty convinced (I think ) about Pandas but when I got the test back to remove dairy-he went nuts and so defensive wanted to know where I got my info etc... funny what they pick up on. I am the researcher, nurse and I work ( supposedly) etc....What I can say is since I am divorced and I am remarried- this is not my husbands biological child and with the exception of the removal of dairy he has been very supportive as long as I do all the research. I gave him Dr Bock's book to understand why it might be more than one issue that we have to deal with....he is actually reading it!! Now my kids Dad just does what I say for his health and does not argue which his a real blessing!!

Brandy

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Ditto on some of the above! It does seem that a lot of momma bears carry the weight of this but I know in my heart that my DH tries - he is just not sure what to do or when to do it... so a lot of times the choice is to pretend it isnt there - pretend the kids dont have PANDAS. My DH is very worried about the kids - he has talked to insurance multiple times - he has gone to Drs appointments with me - when DS was diagnosed 3 1/2 yrs ago he argued right beside me with the nuerologist at the hospital when they tried to tell us his ASO levels werent high enough... even though he had active strep! He has read every book I gave him - he cried while reading Saving Sammy - knowling that it could have been us..... but there are times when I feel like I have to remind him that the kids are sick- the kids have P.A.N.D.A.S. - that is why they are acting that way - doing this/that - There are times that I think he tries to make himself forget... so that he doesnt have to worry about the financial and emotional strain it had put on our family. It is during the darkest hardest moments of PANDAS that he really 'rises up' that is when he cant hide from it - it is real and in your face and it has to be dealt with... when they are in receivery mode (when things are no longer crisis) is when he gets complacent.... Give your DH time - guys definately deal with things differntly - there is no dount that he is worried - he just expresses it and copes with it differently -

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