Jump to content
ACN Latitudes Forums

Fears, Intrusive thoughts


Recommended Posts

DS12 was very anxious last night, he keeps having these "thoughts" that for the longest time he has not been able to tell me what they are about. I could tell he wanted to tell me, but he was almost afraid of saying the word. We just sat there for an hour him trying to get it out, and I just trying to be patient. Finally I said, "Here, just write it down", thinking he would just right ONE word that would give me a clue.

Well, he sat there for about 15 minutes and wrote a whole page about how he is afraid the devil will appear to him. He wrote other people are afraid of scary stuff or monsters or things that are not real, but the devil IS real, and I am afraid especially at night when I am alone. Sigh. The whole thing was quite eloquent and made total sense. It totally helped him calm down, and he ended up sleeping in the family room with my husband.

I though I would share this as I found it an amazing tool for when they are so afraid they can't speak, yet need a way to let it out.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I agree writing is a lot easier than face to face.

 

For younger ones who can't write, you can ask them to draw. You then try to get a story from them about the drawing. We also sat together, I bowed my head down slightly and closed my eyes while he talked. When they don't make eye contact with you, it's easier for them to open up.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

That's a great idea - my son had Fears, Intrusive thoughts as well - he was 7 at the time, now 11 1/2 - I finally got him to Whisper to me I kept telling him it's no biggy - when he was being treated our doctor told us to tell him not to take "ownership" of the thoughts - since he was young we made up a "monster" and my son would say "monster" is telling me this....being your child is older it may help if you explain that its similar to a car accident brain injury...meaning that these thoughts are not his natural thoughts - it's an injury right now and it's going to get better - writing it down is certainly going to help ....sooner or later he will feel safe enough to whisper it ....the sense of relief to them is great ...it's like when a child has the germ phobia and they wash their hands...and feel better - as soon as they release the thought they can move on....Also - our son sleep with my husband for a long time...it made him feel safe.

 

My son's thoughts were REALLY REALLLY BAD....and at times he was SOOOOO hard to hear coming from child ...but EVERY time he told me I just shrugged my shoulders and said.."No big deal is that it?" and he would say yep and run off... At my son's worst ...I would say he had 10 thoughts an hour....

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think it's the intrusive thoughts that break my heart the most. It's as if their brain takes on a sinister life of its own and picks the things that mean the most to the child. My son is a big time animal lover. When we got a kitty he was totally in bliss. Then he started to worry that he would kill the cat. It took him a long time to tell me that. He's had other thoughts that he would hurt various members of the family, then end up in jail for the rest of his life. He also really worries that he'll smoke when he hits high school. That one I was almost glad to hear, but it is deadly serious to him.

 

the things we've found that works the best for the thoughts is inositol powder. It doesn't get rid of many of his other compulsions like needing things to be even numbers or having to do certain things until it feels just right, but it definitely works on the thoughts. We've had a few different times we've either decided to stop to see if it really worked, or just got lazy and fell out of the habit of giving in to him and the thoughts have come roaring back each time. He takes about 12 g each day, split into 3 doses. I get it on iherb.com and it is really reasonably priced. Some of the other supps I still don't know if they do much, but this one is absolutely necessary for him.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

DS12 was very anxious last night, he keeps having these "thoughts" that for the longest time he has not been able to tell me what they are about. I could tell he wanted to tell me, but he was almost afraid of saying the word. We just sat there for an hour him trying to get it out, and I just trying to be patient. Finally I said, "Here, just write it down", thinking he would just right ONE word that would give me a clue.

Well, he sat there for about 15 minutes and wrote a whole page about how he is afraid the devil will appear to him. He wrote other people are afraid of scary stuff or monsters or things that are not real, but the devil IS real, and I am afraid especially at night when I am alone. Sigh. The whole thing was quite eloquent and made total sense. It totally helped him calm down, and he ended up sleeping in the family room with my husband.

I though I would share this as I found it an amazing tool for when they are so afraid they can't speak, yet need a way to let it out.

 

That is awesome. I hope he will continue to do that with you guys. My dd writes a lot of stuff that she can't say too. It's usually her feelings. She also likes to use puppets. Then it's her voice but it's not really her saying it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

the things we've found that works the best for the thoughts is inositol powder. It doesn't get rid of many of his other compulsions like needing things to be even numbers or having to do certain things until it feels just right, but it definitely works on the thoughts. We've had a few different times we've either decided to stop to see if it really worked, or just got lazy and fell out of the habit of giving in to him and the thoughts have come roaring back each time. He takes about 12 g each day, split into 3 doses. I get it on iherb.com and it is really reasonably priced. Some of the other supps I still don't know if they do much, but this one is absolutely necessary for him.

I will definitely try that... do you have a specific brand? I looked at the website and there are so many different brands, it's hard to make up my mind. Thanks!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

the things we've found that works the best for the thoughts is inositol powder. It doesn't get rid of many of his other compulsions like needing things to be even numbers or having to do certain things until it feels just right, but it definitely works on the thoughts. We've had a few different times we've either decided to stop to see if it really worked, or just got lazy and fell out of the habit of giving in to him and the thoughts have come roaring back each time. He takes about 12 g each day, split into 3 doses. I get it on iherb.com and it is really reasonably priced. Some of the other supps I still don't know if they do much, but this one is absolutely necessary for him.

I will definitely try that... do you have a specific brand? I looked at the website and there are so many different brands, it's hard to make up my mind. Thanks!

 

We have tried both the Jarrow and the Healthy Origins brands and both seemed to work equally well. Get the powder. To get a dose that is shown to work they would have to take a gazillion capsules.

 

It tastes rather sweet so it is better in some things than others. My son hates it in milk, but doesn't mind it in juice or hot cocoa or kefir.

 

Start with 1/4 or 1/2 teaspoon and increase it slowly each week or so. At one point my son was taking about 18g, and adult dose, which worked out to about 2 t 3 times each day. I took him off of it when he started Biaxin to see if he still needed it, and he did. He is now at 1 t 3 times each day and it seems to be working well. If you start out with too much it can upset the belly or cause an uncomfortable feeling in the throat kind of like heartburn on something is stuck. If that happens, just cut back a bit. I forgot one day that I'd cut back and automatically put 2 t. in his morning drink. He threw up on the way to school. Studies so far have shown that there aren't really any side effects other than that because it is a water soluble vitamin that is excreted in the urine, but why use more than you need I figure.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

REGARDING THE WRITING We totally discovered that with my INCREDIABLY shy son in 2007 when he first got PANDAS. Now we've moved onto texting. He's texting me right now. He's 13 so we got him a cell phone when he started Jr. High. Taking his phone away is rarely a punishment because that is our open line of communication. I even punish him over the phone!! That way, I text what his punishment is. He has time to process it and there's a lot less conflict. He will text me his problems and mostly I get the I LOVE YOU texts, which when you're in the middle of PANDAS you need those the most!!!

Edited by bubbasmom
Link to comment
Share on other sites

My son has used writing, texting and even typing notes on his laptop that he then hands me to read. I really like the written messages because they are SO much more informative than he is capable of verbally expressing and takes some of the emotional reaction away from situations.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

We saw Dr. Eda Gorbis, an amazing OCD specialist. She had my son write, write, write. She told him his pen was his sword against the obsessions. Writing also helps get it out of them and onto the paper. That is great you have discovered this and your son is doing it. It will really help him.

 

DS12 was very anxious last night, he keeps having these "thoughts" that for the longest time he has not been able to tell me what they are about. I could tell he wanted to tell me, but he was almost afraid of saying the word. We just sat there for an hour him trying to get it out, and I just trying to be patient. Finally I said, "Here, just write it down", thinking he would just right ONE word that would give me a clue.

Well, he sat there for about 15 minutes and wrote a whole page about how he is afraid the devil will appear to him. He wrote other people are afraid of scary stuff or monsters or things that are not real, but the devil IS real, and I am afraid especially at night when I am alone. Sigh. The whole thing was quite eloquent and made total sense. It totally helped him calm down, and he ended up sleeping in the family room with my husband.

I though I would share this as I found it an amazing tool for when they are so afraid they can't speak, yet need a way to let it out.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

DS12 was very anxious last night, he keeps having these "thoughts" that for the longest time he has not been able to tell me what they are about. I could tell he wanted to tell me, but he was almost afraid of saying the word. We just sat there for an hour him trying to get it out, and I just trying to be patient. Finally I said, "Here, just write it down", thinking he would just right ONE word that would give me a clue.

Well, he sat there for about 15 minutes and wrote a whole page about how he is afraid the devil will appear to him. He wrote other people are afraid of scary stuff or monsters or things that are not real, but the devil IS real, and I am afraid especially at night when I am alone. Sigh. The whole thing was quite eloquent and made total sense. It totally helped him calm down, and he ended up sleeping in the family room with my husband.

I though I would share this as I found it an amazing tool for when they are so afraid they can't speak, yet need a way to let it out.

 

 

This is great! I'm so glad it worked for you. I just bought both my sons notebooks for this. I teach a class for emotionally disturbed students and also last year had a student with Asburger's and have found that quite often writing is the only way to communicate when they are upset. Currently, the student I do it most with this year I tend to draw cartoons with him. I can draw the people involved and add speech bubbles and he will write down what he is thinking, what has upset him or what happened the night before that has set him off. A pencil and paper is often the best behavioral/emotional tool that I have.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

We saw Dr. Eda Gorbis, an amazing OCD specialist. She had my son write, write, write. She told him his pen was his sword against the obsessions. Writing also helps get it out of them and onto the paper. That is great you have discovered this and your son is doing it. It will really help him.

 

DS12 was very anxious last night, he keeps having these "thoughts" that for the longest time he has not been able to tell me what they are about. I could tell he wanted to tell me, but he was almost afraid of saying the word. We just sat there for an hour him trying to get it out, and I just trying to be patient. Finally I said, "Here, just write it down", thinking he would just right ONE word that would give me a clue.

Well, he sat there for about 15 minutes and wrote a whole page about how he is afraid the devil will appear to him. He wrote other people are afraid of scary stuff or monsters or things that are not real, but the devil IS real, and I am afraid especially at night when I am alone. Sigh. The whole thing was quite eloquent and made total sense. It totally helped him calm down, and he ended up sleeping in the family room with my husband.

I though I would share this as I found it an amazing tool for when they are so afraid they can't speak, yet need a way to let it out.

My son has said in the past that there are thoughts he can't control- he says these cards flash in front of him and they are bad thoughts. This is before I knew about PANDAS and any Dr I asked about it said he is just trying to not take responsibility for his actions or thoughts...but now I wonder after reading all of these posts. God I feel horrible for so long I would get so mad at him thinking he could control himself and these "cards" are an excuse to be able to do what he wants.... I wonder......

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...