bgbarnes Posted April 13, 2010 Report Share Posted April 13, 2010 I am angry at every Doctor I have ever seen since my son was little and started to exhibit symptoms and did not see it.... I am angry at the Doctors who have misdiagnosed and wanted to inappropriately medicate him and THANK GOD I listened to my intuition that I knew he did not need that type of medicine and the Dr was wrong.... I am angry at the principal at our school who flippantly said- well a number of kids have strep multiple times and don't get this PANDAS thing.... I am angry that I have to deal with this AT ALL!!!! I am angry that my husband is dealing with this in his silent angry way..... I am angry that I have no idea what is going on in my son's brain right now...... I am angry at his immune system for not working properly.... I am angry that I have to go to specialists..... I am angry that I have to find out of I am a carrier this morning..... I am angry that I really still have no idea what this means for our son and our family...... I am angry that all this is going on when 18 million other things are going on in my life too- I really can't handle all of this today.... I F*cking HATE PANDAS.... Brandy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thereishope Posted April 13, 2010 Report Share Posted April 13, 2010 I'm right with you! You summed all the anger that we all feel perfectly! Let that anger empower you to fight for your child and get him better! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peglem Posted April 13, 2010 Report Share Posted April 13, 2010 I've been there. I was also angry that I felt so angry all the time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MomWithOCDSon Posted April 13, 2010 Report Share Posted April 13, 2010 And anger is POWERFUL so long as we let it drive us into action, instead of pound us into a frustrated stupor! I think we're all angry . . . I'd worry for our sanity if we weren't! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fixit Posted April 13, 2010 Report Share Posted April 13, 2010 (edited) I want to kick some. F.lksjlijoensf s osso sn Neurologist's %%&&*())_)___ For the Dumb A(*&%*&%$%_ studies, when they could be doing real work OR JUST LISTENING TO THE PARENTS i want to screem right now myself :angry: I am angry at every Doctor I have ever seen since my son was little and started to exhibit symptoms and did not see it....I am angry at the Doctors who have misdiagnosed and wanted to inappropriately medicate him and THANK GOD I listened to my intuition that I knew he did not need that type of medicine and the Dr was wrong.... I am angry at the principal at our school who flippantly said- well a number of kids have strep multiple times and don't get this PANDAS thing.... I am angry that I have to deal with this AT ALL!!!! I am angry that my husband is dealing with this in his silent angry way..... I am angry that I have no idea what is going on in my son's brain right now...... I am angry at his immune system for not working properly.... I am angry that I have to go to specialists..... I am angry that I have to find out of I am a carrier this morning..... I am angry that I really still have no idea what this means for our son and our family...... I am angry that all this is going on when 18 million other things are going on in my life too- I really can't handle all of this today.... I F*cking HATE PANDAS.... Brandy Edited April 13, 2010 by Fixit Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simplygina Posted April 13, 2010 Report Share Posted April 13, 2010 We parents definitely go through the stages of mourning don't we! I spent the better part of my son's Kindergarten year crying. I didn't know what was wrong, I just knew something was. I felt like a failure. I mourned the loss of the child I thought I would have and the mother I thought I would be. In second grade I spent the year worried sick. I didn't know if the OCD would take over his life. I projected all sorts of disasters into his future and mine. I worried he'd be made fun of, never have a girlfriend, never get married, not be able to work, live with us forever, be depressed, do drugs to self-medicate, commit suicide, etc. This year the tics started. Then I was angry. Why us? Why him? How the h*** am I supposed to deal with this? I'm the one with horrible ADD that is just starting to figure out how to put a normal life together. Why would God give me a kid that needs someone to keep his life stable and organized and calm? What a joke! I still worry that he'll be picked on and have trouble dating. I worry that he is missing the chance to learn the age appropriate lessons most kids learn naturally because his brain is not working right. I worry that he'll be the guy with TS that yells F*&% all the time. Yeah, yeah, all the cliches about "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" and "I've learned so many things that maybe it's all for the best" are true, but most of the time I don't want to hear that because all of this is HARD!!! And I wouldn't choose it! I'd definitely pass this little adventure up if given the choice. I worry and lose sleep over it. I cry for him but truthfully I also cry for myself. I rage at doctors, at myself, and sometime God for the unfairness of children suffering. I get mad at DH when he points the tics out to me because somedays I just want to live in denial and pretend that everything is perfect. But in between the days of worry and anger and sadness, I'm beginning to have to the days of acceptance, more and more often. I cycle between the 5 stages of grief every single month, sometimes all in one day! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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