At what age do other kids REALLY notice?

[Santi]

Hello,

 

I am new to this forum. My son (age 7) has Tourettes among a multitude of other dx's. At what age do other kids start to notice? What is your child's experience with other kids? Has anyone had to deal with other children making fun of your child? If so, how did you handle it. We haven't had to deal with this yet. Andrea

[Chemar]

Hi Andrea

 

my son was dx with TS when he was 10, altho he had an ADD, CAPD, SID with possible OCD etc !! from when he was 4yo and just starting preK classes. He had what we now know were early tics then too (eye rolling and blinking..thought to be related initially to his short sightedness/astygmatism, and some vocals) His young friends then never seemed to notice or comment on those early symptoms

 

He had a pretty dramatic onset of the full blown TS symptoms just after his 10th birthday and so things were very noticeable to his friends as he had a lot of motor and vocal tics, and his OCD and depression became really bad.

 

When the TS dx came , he was in 4th grade and he decided he wanted to be upfront about it. I got some literature and learned as much as I could and the school allowed him and me to tell the class about TS (they brought in the other 2 classes in the grade as well)

 

it was a positive move as it not only helped give understanding to my son, but gave him the ability to continue to speak openly about it and so avoid misunderstandings with others.

 

Yes, there were then (and still are now) people who ridicule and are unkind, but that is life (as my other son. 23yo, who has red hair and freckles, but no TS discovered )

My TS son has always dealt with those types by responding firmly but nicely and tried to educate and then, if no improvement, ignored. Yes, I know he has suffered some hurt in his life from this, but overall now, where he is a 20yo young man with TS etc....he is a very sociable, well liked and well adjusted person who has a far deeper and more mature character than his peers. He allowed TS to make him better not bitter, and it came from facing it head on right from the start.

 

For a 7yo I realize it may be a little harder as the level of comprehension is very different from an older child.

Still, maybe getting some of those free leaflets/booklets that the Tourette Syndrome Association put out on how best to talk to young children (patient and peers) about TS. I think they also sell a video about it?

I dont agree with much about TSA's closed minded views on treatments for TS, they do also have a lot of helpful stuff, especially with regards to education, school accommodations, school advocacy etc.

 

another good site is http://www.tourettesyndrome.net/education.htm

 

hope that helps a bit

[Santi]

Hello,

 

I am new to this forum. My son (age 7) has Tourettes among a multitude of other dx's. At what age do other kids start to notice? What is your child's experience with other kids? Has anyone had to deal with other children making fun of your child? If so, how did you handle it. We haven't had to deal with this yet. Andrea

 

I really appreciate you detailed feedback. It has been most helpful. Andrea

[Hope]

Chemar, it is nice to know that your son was met with favorable reactions from most other classmates after educating them on TS. Our son is 10 and in 5th grade. I met with his teachers about a month ago and talked with my son prior to the meeting. I asked him what he thought would help the most. He said that he wanted the other kids to know about TS. I thought this was brave and mature of him. Somedays I just want to hide at home and not face the outside world which can be so cruel sometimes. I know kids can be mean but I also think that with education they can also just learn to accept new situations. We have someone from our local TS chapter coming in soon to talk to all the 5th graders. I am praying for a positive response. It is a small, private school. The kids have been together with my son since kindergarten. He has some good friends. I really think it is the right thing to do in our situation.

 

Andrea, good luck with your son and his classmates! This is such a challenge.

[Santi]

Chemar, it is nice to know that your son was met with favorable reactions from most other classmates after educating them on TS. Our son is 10 and in 5th grade. I met with his teachers about a month ago and talked with my son prior to the meeting. I asked him what he thought would help the most. He said that he wanted the other kids to know about TS. I thought this was brave and mature of him. Somedays I just want to hide at home and not face the outside world which can be so cruel sometimes. I know kids can be mean but I also think that with education they can also just learn to accept new situations. We have someone from our local TS chapter coming in soon to talk to all the 5th graders. I am praying for a positive response. It is a small, private school. The kids have been together with my son since kindergarten. He has some good friends. I really think it is the right thing to do in our situation.

 

Andrea, good luck with your son and his classmates! This is such a challenge.

Thank you.

[faith]

Hi,

my son is now almost 11 and has had tics from early age. I think from early on, kids don't really notice or even care when another child has tics, they don't really look that hard. I worried my head off and cried every year out of fear of just that reason.

 

I would say my son's classmates probably heard him making some noises and noticed some eye twitching in second grade. every year I would hold my breath when the school year started, wondering if this would be the year that everyone noticed and commented. Thankfully, my son is pretty social and as funny and annoying as the next guy, so basically whatever he did kind of just went either under the radar, or the other kids just became used to it. He pretty much has a number of friends who may or may not know what's going on, but they don't say anything. I am sure there may have been a few kids who were caught off guard when fifth grade began this year and may have thunk to take the opportunity to goof, but it seems that passed rather quickly, and I don't see that there are any problems. I keep the teacher informed from the beginning and tell them to just ignore it and if there were to be any problems with anyone, then they could handle it on individual basis, maybe explain to someone on the side if need be. But the teacher has assured me that things were fine and my son's tics are not an issue in his classroom. it has been that way pretty much each year, altho I'm sure there may have been a couple of uncomfortable moments for him, but nothing that continued or became what anyone would call making fun of...

 

I do however, have my fears and anxiety when he changes to middle school, for that's where all the elementary schools come together and it will not just be kids from his school who he has known for the past six or seven years.

 

Andrea, I would say at this age, keep him as social as possible, the more kids he deals with now, they will be familiar with him and it will help for him to have a circle of friends and aquaintences that know him and know he is a great kid who just happens to have some tics. I'm pretty sure it will be no big deal to them. if he acts like its no bid deal, so will they. It is to us, for we are the ones whose hearts break.

You'll be surprised, things will probably never get as bad as you fear.

 

blessings,

Faith

[simplygina]

Hello,

 

I am new to this forum. My son (age 7) has Tourettes among a multitude of other dx's. At what age do other kids start to notice? What is your child's experience with other kids? Has anyone had to deal with other children making fun of your child? If so, how did you handle it. We haven't had to deal with this yet. Andrea

 

My son is in the 4th grade. I think kids start to notice pretty young, but around 4th grade they start to worry about looking cool and fitting. My son has been very open and up front about not being able to help it. He just tells kids that something in his brain gets messed up and tells him he has to do it. So far his friends just accept it and the other kids seem to as well. He did have one girl he sat by ask to be moved because sometimes he has to read out loud. I think that is more OCD but it is hard to tell the tics from the ocd sometimes. Anyway, he said he didn't blame her, he knew it could be annoying. His teacher has been amazing about it, which helps a lot I think. As far as I know, no one has really made fun of him. Usually they just ask in that straight forward way kids have, "Why do you do that?"

 

I think the best route to take is just educate your son so he can educate others.

 

We have also done other things to build my son's self esteem. He has taken karate for about 3 years now and is on the tournament team. This has helped him in so many ways. The physical activity (he practices on average 6-8 hours a week) helps the tics tremendously. While he is there, he is so focused he has almost no ocd or tics at all. The support of his coach, who is a fantastic role model, as well as his team is really cool and means a lot to him. He is also confident that he can protect himself if needed, but is also learning the wisdom and discipline of martial arts. And the other kids respect that he is good at something. If there is something your son shows a lot of interest in I would highly recommend helping him become really good at it.

 

I do worry about Jr. High. I guess that is one of the reasons I want to figure out if it is regular TS and OCD or PANDAS. I want the know the best way to help him manage it either way and if it is PANDAS I really want to get it figured out before then. Either way, I'm sure it won't be easy, but we'll deal with it the best we can. My son is an amazing kid. I have moments where I realize how much he is dealing with every day and I'm in awe that he handles it as well as he does.

[mom2ck]

Kids do start to notice at a young age. My son who has been ticcing since before Kindergarten has had some kids make fun of him. In K. it was because of his speech issue that was heightened from his sensory problems. In 1st grade he would twirl around and get out of his seat. Some kids said he was a problem child. Now in the second grade kids notice anything that is different. He is also dx Aspergers and plays alot alone. Luckily in 1st grade a new child moved in that was a little odd as well. They are great friends now. But, he is still laughed at or made fun of. Most of the time he doesn't notice it or ignores it.

 

He has also been in karate for 1 1/2 yrs. to help him focus and help his motor skills. I think it has helped, but it doesn't lessen his ticcing. In fact, this past weekend we went to a tournament and his tics were worse the whole week. While at the tournament he was chewing on his sleeve again too. I believe all of this was caused from the anxiety of the tournament. But, I still think the advantages outweight the disadvantages so he will continue until he chooses to do otherwise.