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Need advice...son got into a fight!


CSP
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Hi all,

 

Well I thought this would blow over after the weekend, but I'm thinking I need some advice.

 

Son got into a fight at the HS football game Fri. night. It was self-defence and his friends tell me my son tried 2 hours to get this kid to leave him alone. He was punched twice in the stomach. Finally I guess my son had had enough and picked the boys whole body up and tossed the boy on his head, punched him in the back then declared himself the winner and left. He came right home to tell us this so we were glad about that, but we were at the game and can't understand why he did not come to tell us. (Well I guess I understand why a boy thing)

 

The vocals have increased because of this, and I thought maybe they would settle down after the weekend but they have not.

 

My husband think this was the best thing that could have happened to him, because defended himself. He did have about 40 kids watching and some said the didn't think my son had it in him. He did not use any of the martial arts on the boy, because he said he did not want to hurt him??? (I guess he thought tossing him on his head did not hurt?)

 

Anyway I'm wondering if you all think this will be a stress for him all year, or any TS males out there think he will feel good about himself? I'm just worried about the tics waxing for months because of this.

 

Help,

CP

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:o CP!

:( ...yikes.....

but he won you say?.....well glad he showed the little @#@#@#! :ph34r:

 

That would fright the heill outa me. Did he say what the fight was about? What kind of increase in the vocal? more frequent? louder? .... I suppose if getting wired and excited is his trigger, than it may take some time, because he is not going to let it go in his mind for a while. I'm sure he is as surprised at himself as you are. He probably has a lot of pent of anxiety over it. But I suppose it was good for his self esteem to know he could handle a situation like that. I know your son is not that type of boy, but if it had to be, well good that he was able to defend himself and hopefully make the other guy look like a dope. Holy cow, CP, that is a moment I would dread. I think if my son ever came home from a fist fight, I would die on the spot... :(

 

My son's vocal is on the up too, I havn't been able to get it back down since the increase I noted after the bht cookies and the carnitine. Its been a couple weeks, I'm not sure now if it did have anything to do with that, how could it last this long? Its that the sound changed a little to a more forceful sound, so a little more noticeable and piercing. I think he can control the frequency in school, but he still does it. I just came from a meeting with his new teacher to make sure everything is okay, and so far for the most part it is, but as time goes on, who knows? I just wanted to make sure the teacher is aware, which of course he is, and that he'll be able to handle anything that comes up.

 

Heaven help us all.......sorry to hijack your post with "my" problems. ^_^ but you know me, I like to share..... :)

 

How long ago was the fight? Did he get hurt at all?

 

hugs,

Faith

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Well, I wonder if he can show Grif some moves when we get out there later this month? Just kidding! Griffin was getting teased lately b/c his tics were pretty bad but they've settled down now after I did a mega dose of B6 for a few days. Why was this boy bugging him anyway? Some kids are just looking for trouble, aren't they and I'm glad your son stood up for himself. My husband always tells G that he wouldn't get mad at him if he stood up for himself in self defense even if he got in trouble for it in other ways. I know that my dh thinks that Grif's tics are the best thing that have happened to him. I always look at him funny when he says this but he thinks that the tics give Grif something to overcome, something to fight for and defend himself, thereby making himself a stronger person to prepare him for the stresses of adulthood. He thinks kids these days aren't challenged enough and that kids are wimps for the most part b/c we live in such a privileged society(and that goes for our generation, as well). He thinks that any kid who has to overcome challenges will be a stronger adult and will be a more confidant, compassionate adult.

 

Not saying I agree 100% with my husband all the time, but he has a point. Yet, I think life is tough enough for kids these days so that's why I try to control the tics. My dh is one of the most negative people I've ever met sometimes, but when it comes to our son.....he's so positive in his outlook and in how he handles the tics. It amazes me! I'm the one who gets all frazzled and frustrated, and he stays so calm. Anyway, I'm totally off topic here and I really have no advice but just wanted to say that I hope his tics do settle down soon for you!

 

Bonnie

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Thanks Bonnie, and faith,

 

Faith, it is not that loud but... oh my goodness... it's every second. That is why I think he is nervous. Maybe this will be on his mind for awhile? When he is with his friends he is what you would call "at the bottom of the pecking order," so when someone wants to say someone said something, my son gets blamed for it. That really bothers me, but he has handled this pretty good all these years.

 

I'm real upset about this happening at the beginning of the school year, I hope his teachers don't think he is a trouble-maker.

 

Thanks for the support,

CP

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CP,

 

I am a male with TS, not a kid anymore, but do have some things in common with your son. I know about being at the bottom of the pecking order and taking some things, and then getting so fed up the reaction can be a bit of a blowup beyond what others would expect. Socially, I am agreeing with your husband, others will very likely treat him a bit better. We all may wish the world didn't work that way, but, reality is that it does.

 

As far as the tics and so on, my main tics are more inside than outside (emotions, and the inside spasms that nobody sees but I will feel, and the headaches, and digestive problems from all of the above), but I'll tell you how this would play out for me. The TS disturbances would last until I really process what happened, at least mostly process. For me, after an event like that, I could be still riled up about it for weeks--the fact that I got picked on for the two hours, the fact that I had to "fix it" myself (by dumping the kid on his head), and so on. It could be any event that would help process it--seeing something on TV that reminds me of it (because a TV character experiences something at least a little similar in sticking up for himself, where it seemed outrageous that the character needed to do that), maybe hearing other children discuss it at school, anything like that, really. It might really just take some time. Of course the therapists out there might think having someone talk to him about the event in the right way could help, and that's possible.

 

Michael

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  • 2 weeks later...

Actually I think your son will probably feel good about himself. I would in his situation and people feel good standing up for themselves.

 

Of course he might not mention if he worries about something or things about this incident alot for a reason so you might want to ask him if he is alright with it so to speak. Tics can be worsened by negative feelings but I think he did a good thing actually.

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I agree with your husband. With boys when they"see" you standing up for yourself they will sometimes listen more. This incident probably gained some respect for him and made "future" teasers think twice. And if the truth be known...the teachers will probably already know the other boy is a trouble maker!

The stress of being teased probably caused the vocal tics. Give it a while and see if they calm down a little.

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