Coping with the raging

[ShaesMom]

How does everyone deal with the raging episodes? My dd has gone from severe separation anxiety to daily raging episodes. It is taking its toll on everyone in the family. Sadly, I have a difficult time being around her sometimes. I think it would be easier if she was bent over the toilet puking all day. It is really hard to remember that she is sick when she is screaming at you every day.

 

We don't want this behavior to become a habit when she is feeling better. Do we pick her up and hug her until she is done, do we try to ignore her until she calms down? The constant drama and turmoil is so overwhelming. Please share your coping strategies.

[peglem]

My daughter's raging includes self injurious behaviors (SIBs). So, we have to intervene. I force myself to stay calm, hold her and try to set up some kind of regulatory pattern- like swaying back and forth, or clapping a rhythm. I make sure she knows that its not her fault and i'm going to help her be safe and get calm. I try to give her strategies for calming herself down.

[dcmom]

My dd had rages as well. It maybe was not quite so severe, and she is only 5. She would hit me and call me names, so unlike her. I would try to hug her and tell her I love you, and I know you love me. Eventually when she would be closer to calm, I would offer a hug again. She always felt so bad after. I knew she didn't mean these things, and wanted to assure her that I knew that.

 

It is heartbreaking to see their struggle. Hang in there, It will pass, she will get better...

[pmoreno]

How does everyone deal with the raging episodes? My dd has gone from severe separation anxiety to daily raging episodes. It is taking its toll on everyone in the family. Sadly, I have a difficult time being around her sometimes. I think it would be easier if she was bent over the toilet puking all day. It is really hard to remember that she is sick when she is screaming at you every day.

 

We don't want this behavior to become a habit when she is feeling better. Do we pick her up and hug her until she is done, do we try to ignore her until she calms down? The constant drama and turmoil is so overwhelming. Please share your coping strategies.

 

It depends on what the raging is coming from. - If it's yeast overgrowth, then you try s.boulardii and kefir (They have to be on it for a few weeks to see results - but then they're dramatic). If it's for any other reason, a good vitamin B complex is fairly calming. Other than that, you try to predict what will set things off and avoid that and during the times of the worst rages you keep them home as much as possible. When you're in the midst of these, it's hard to imagine that they'll ever stop, but eventually they do. Pat

[peglem]

This website has a lot of information and suggestions for dealing with rage attacks:

 

http://members.tripod.com/LeeLydon/rage.html

[ShaesMom]

My dd has an anaphylatic allergy to dairy so the Kefir is out. I am not familiar with the S. Boulardii--do you know if it is also a dairy product?

 

Sam

[pmoreno]

My dd has an anaphylatic allergy to dairy so the Kefir is out. I am not familiar with the S. Boulardii--do you know if it is also a dairy product?

 

Sam

 

 

S.Boulardii is not a dairy product. The best kefir out there is non-dairy - its made from young coconut water. I do use it, but it is kind of a pain because you have to make it yourself - that's why I usually recommend the goat milk kefir - because you can buy it in a store and makes it easier for general use. The coconut kefir is made from the water of young coconuts (not the hairy brown ones). Most health food stores & some grocery stores will carry them. They are either green or many times they've had that outer covering removed and look like big white waxy candles. You punch a hole into them and drain the liquid (usually use 2 of them for a batch). You have to heat it to about 92 degrees which is skin temperature - either use a food thermometer or a clean finger to test. It can't be hot or cold - just skin temp. then you pour into a mason jar (should be about 2/3 full), add a packet of kefir starter grains, stir well, cover with tight lid and keep at 75 degrees. If your house is colder than that, put in an insulated container and leave alone for 48 hours. The liquid will be cloudy white with an odd semi-sour flavor. You only use about a tablespoon or 2 for the first week, then gradually use more - maximum about 1/4 cup a day (best used at bedtime). The flavor is odd, so it's best to mix it with another juice to hide it. After 3 days (you store kefir in fridge after it's done culturing), you can add about a 1/4 cup to another 2 new coconuts and you can keep doing this for 7 times before you have to start over with a new packet of kefir grains. Each time that you use the old batch of kefir as a starter, it takes less time to culture, so the second time might take 36 or less hours, then maybe 24 hours and finally a little more than 12 hours. There are a few places on the west coast that will sell coconut kefir, but it's extremely expensive and hard to get. That's why it just makes sense to make it yourself. You can order the grains on line from a number of different places - just google coconut kefir starter grains. good luck. Pat

[thereishope]

I did what it seems like others did as well. When he was out of control, I would tackle him to the floor, wrap my legs around his, and bear hig him I would sing in a soft voice while rocking back and forth, reassuring him that I loved him. But he would also punch me on me, kick, spit, etc. He acted possesed.I would also tell him that no matter what he did that I would always love him. If he was just mad and saying awful things without the hitting, I would follow him around until he calmed down, especially if he was threatening to jump out of the window. He's 5 and I knew in my heart he wouldn't hurt himself, but I also needed to be responsible and make sure. If the threats of hurting themself or hurting you (mine would say he wanted me to go to heaven), I would just be very honest with him. "You don't know what heaven is like" or "once you're dead, you can't come back if you don't like it". I know those are harsh words for a 5 year old, but a good deal of the time it worked. It got him to stop. After awhile when he would say he wanted me dead, I would ask him if he meant it and he'd say "no". Let me add that those behaviors did eventually go away.