guy123 Posted June 10, 2008 Report Share Posted June 10, 2008 (Sorry if this is long) When I was 17 I decided to get allergy shots because one of my friends had used them with great success. Shortly after I got all the testing and started getting the shots, I noticed that I started blinking a lot. They were hard blinks, like a blinking tic (you know where the eyebrows come down hard in addition to the blink). It felt to me like I had something in my eyes and blinking hard was the only way to "relieve it." The allergy doctor didn't know what was going on. I went to see an eye doctor who said I had rosacea in my eyes and gave me some eye drops, but that didn't relieve the sensation I was feeling. The timing of all this could just be a coincidence, tho. I never finished my course of allergy shots. Fast forward to today... I'm 27 (so 10 years later basically) and I still have it. Over the years I have become fairly good at masking it. I have found that, instead of doing the hard blink (which obviously draws attention to me and therefore is undesirable), I can close my eyes normally and roll my eyes up into my head (while my eyes are closed) and that relieves the sensation almost as much as doing a hard blink. This is what I try to do at work, in public, etc. I guess during the last few years I've just stopped caring. Occasionally people ask me "are your contacts bothering you?" (I don't wear contacts), and I take this as an indication that I'm blinking harder than normal and need to become more aware of it, and I reply to them "yeah... they're so dry I hate it!" I notice that some days it's much worse, and other days it's a bit better. Recently tho I've just started to become annoyed with this. So I started doing some research and you know how that goes... you start freaking out that you have all of the conditions that you're reading about. I was almost positive that I had an "eye problem" and not a tic or TS because I felt a sensation in my eyes, like there was dust in them or something. But then I read that TS sufferers and people with tics describe their blinking as "to relieve an unpleasant sensation in the eyes," and that made me start to worry that I might have TS. Then I read that TS is usually diagnosed young, and often times the tics go away when the frontal lobe closes. So I thought it was weird that mine began when I was 17. I've also noticed that I have another bad "nervous habit;" I chew on my tongue. But I've become aware recently that when I find myself doing this, the need to blink is reduced. Let me clarify here: I can't consciously decide to chew my tongue and have that reduce the blinking; it only reduces the blinking when I find that I am unconsciously chewing on my tongue. Like "oh, I've been chewing my tongue for a while... and I haven't blinked in a while." I've experimented when consciously chewing it when I feel the urge to blink and it doesn't help. This makes me wonder if maybe it's an anxiety-related thing. I'm very high-strung in general. I've read that TS tics seem to come and go... one will come for a while, and then be replaced by something else, and then that one will be replaced by something else, etc. This makes me curious because all I've ever had is blinking. This also makes me terrified because what if one day my blinking, which is somewhat possible to control/make excuses for (allergies/contacts), is replaced by something much worse (like shoulder shrugging)? I literally had a mini anxiety attack from thinking about that today... and worrying about stuff doesn't make it better. I've also read that tics which persist into adulthood usually become permanent. And I've read a lot about how there's not really any medication for tics, and some of the anti-psychotics result in TD (Tardive Dyskenesia) which is possibly worse than the original tic. So I've finally decided to make a doctor's appointment and talk to him about what's going on. Before I wanted a cure for this blinking (I have crow's feet wrinkles at 27 years old from blinking so hard for the last 10 years). Now, I've decided that if I have to live with it it wouldn't be so bad, I just don't want it to manifest itself as another, worse tic (like shrugging). I am seriously terrified of that. I've been worrying about that a lot today and I keep feeling this pressure in my trapezius muscles (the shrug muscles) and feeling like I need to shrug but I'm afraid to because I don't want that to trigger a tic. I'm sure it's just in my head because of all the research I've been doing recently tho. Like I said, sometimes the sensation to blink is reduced, but it never "goes away." I have a video of myself in college where we had to videotape ourselves being interviewed (it was to practice for real job interviews) and I am blinking like crazy in that video I can't pinpoint any triggers for it. I know some people say cigarette smoke makes theirs worse, or stress, or certain foods, or whatever, but I haven't noticed any correlation between my blinking and external or internal stimuli. I did notice that it may have been slightly reduced when I take Zyrtec, but after reading about all these side effects with Zyrtec on the web, I'm afraid of taking that anymore, too. Oh, I also have (self-diagnosed) OCD. Compulsions that I have to do something a certain way or bad things will happen. However, in the last few months, I've made some behavior modifications to help eliminate this... basically when I feel the need to do something I know is stupid, I forcibly prevent myself from doing it. Like for the longest time when I was washing my hands I had to pump the soap 3 times. So I would force myself to do it 1 or 2 or 4 times. I've read that OCD can sometimes be accompanied by tics so I'm just throwing this out there. So what do you think I have? A nervous/anxiety tic? TS? Something else? Thanks edit - sorry, one more thing I just thought of that might be relevant. Sometimes when I'm resting or about to go to sleep, I'll have my eyes closed, but I'll still feel the discomfort in my eyes/eye muscles, so even tho my eyes are already closed, I still "blink" (squeeze them tighter causing my eyebrows to come down) to relieve it. That makes me worry that it is a tic and not some eye condition. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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