Jump to content
ACN Latitudes Forums
  • pandas-cover-cropped.pngYour Child Has Changed; Should You Consider PANDAS?

    Have you seen our PANDAS eBook?  Our book is a helpful primer in a friendly question & answer format.  This eBook contains useful information to understand the symptoms of PANDAS, how it is diagnosed (including lab tests), the different types of treatments, approaches for prevention, and how to find the help and support that you need.  Your satisfaction is guaranteed. Learn more

DC24

Depersonalization?

Recommended Posts

Hello all! Just wanted to stop by and say that my OCD has been much better lately! However, I have had these feelings of foggy headiness that I have found out is depersonalization. Anyone had experience with this? Any successful treatments? Not sure if it is directly related to PANDAS, but I feel that my experience contributed to it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I experienced this during an acute exacerbation of OCD and regression - stupid me decided to hang round with the "Stoners" and ingest a ton of weed. It was the single biggest social mistake I've ever made. Ever since then every waking moment of my life has been enveloped in a never ending Fog; a head full of cotton wool!

Depersonalisation is usually accompanied by an over consciousness of the self, on the self. Hence, talking about it really only serves to intensify the feelings of detachment even more - believe me on that one! It's horrible, I know.

In my case at least, I have no idea if it's determinant on an irreversible physiological change or just my brain over-killed from a traumatised mind.

I hope you make a full recovery. It was always my belief that if you could find the root cause it would just dissipate - that's the dream - but its anyone guess really.

Perhaps treating your Pandas will throw some light on the issue. Afterall, it would be fair to say  that normalisation of brain chemistry can only be attained in the right conditions. Depersonalisation for all intensive purposes is a symptom - very rarely does any 'disorder' exist as a pure stand-alone entity.

On a side note - I have heard some anecdotal reports suggesting that lamotrogine can significantly reduce subjective feelings of depersonalization by inhibiting the release of the neurotransmitter glutamate in the prefrontal cortex. But again, this may only be specific to reversible effects of ketamine intoxication. IMO Depersonalisation following such a chronic course would be more likely due to an intrinsic inbalance precipitated by a range of neuro biological factors.

As it remains, no "gold standard" regulated treatment protocol exists. 

With all that opinionated 'headache' out of the way, I really hope you find a resolution. Best of luck!

 

 

 

 

 

Edited by Hitman3161

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

BTW no offense to people who smoke weed intended. I really did get wound up with the wrong crowd though. The term "stoner" couldn't be more complimentary in their case. Just an awful mistake when I consider the innate vulnerabilities I had though. Only wish I could turn back time :/

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hello! I have had two short (both lasted no more than a few days) but severe depersonalization episodes, both of which were induced by marijuana use. The second one was due to accidental-ingestion (I learned my lesson the first time) and I actually ended up in the ER because it was so scary. It's probably the most difficult thing to try to explain. I sometimes experience much milder and more brief episodes during times of extreme anxiety. It helps me to remember that it is "just" anxiety and it WILL end. The best thing you can do is not think about it, which I know seems impossible, but you can do it; it will really help you. You might try focusing on your external environment. I take a sketchbook and pencils and go out in nature and draw (to the best of my ability lol). Or I describe my surroundings, writing colors, shapes, and other physical characteristics of my environment. When thoughts arise I try not to judge them. Try to accept them and let them pass. Mindfulness meditation is also extremely helpful.  Sending all my support your way. <3

Also, i'd love to learn more about the neural mechanisms involved here if anyone is knowledgeable! I rarely meet people who react in this way to weed, or who experience depersonalization in general. I meet lots of people who either get super chill and deep, or get paranoid from weed. I haven't ever experienced either of those to any extent while smoking, and I think it's interesting how people can have such different reactions to the same drug. I'm not sure if depersonalization as a reaction to marijuana is a common theme for people with immune-mediated OCD/tics/ADHD, but would love to learn more about it! 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
7 hours ago, alyssamariecleland said:

Hello! I have had two short (both lasted no more than a few days) but severe depersonalization episodes, both of which were induced by marijuana use. The second one was due to accidental-ingestion (I learned my lesson the first time) and I actually ended up in the ER because it was so scary. It's probably the most difficult thing to try to explain. I sometimes experience much milder and more brief episodes during times of extreme anxiety. It helps me to remember that it is "just" anxiety and it WILL end. The best thing you can do is not think about it, which I know seems impossible, but you can do it; it will really help you. You might try focusing on your external environment. I take a sketchbook and pencils and go out in nature and draw (to the best of my ability lol). Or I describe my surroundings, writing colors, shapes, and other physical characteristics of my environment. When thoughts arise I try not to judge them. Try to accept them and let them pass. Mindfulness meditation is also extremely helpful.  Sending all my support your way. <3

Also, i'd love to learn more about the neural mechanisms involved here if anyone is knowledgeable! I rarely meet people who react in this way to weed, or who experience depersonalization in general. I meet lots of people who either get super chill and deep, or get paranoid from weed. I haven't ever experienced either of those to any extent while smoking, and I think it's interesting how people can have such different reactions to the same drug. I'm not sure if depersonalization as a reaction to marijuana is a common theme for people with immune-mediated OCD/tics/ADHD, but would love to learn more about it! 

Hey Alyssa,

Nice post! I know that depersonalization is heavily linked to excess glutamine activity in specific regions of the brain. IMO, when you take drugs with a very sensitive neurobiological make up your playing a game of Russian roulette everytime. Unfortunately for me, I've  experienced depersonalization 24/7 for 3 years. Words don't do the suffering any justice. Whether this has anything to do with chronic sinusitis/URI or any other physical component I still don't know. You're very lucky to get out of it! Your right; everybody's reaction to the drug will be different. Although, I still believe if you treat the underlying sensitivity or problem, you allow the brain at least the best chance to re-normalise itself. All you can do is hope right. lol

Edited by Hitman3161

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Just to add because of the intricate nature of depersonalisation: I've dealt with a ridiculous level of cognitive impairment over the last 3 years. It's very hard to imagine that I was once a high achieving A level mathematics student. The unrelenting brain fog, lethargy and memory impairment has hampered me beyond belief. Still, I'm not sure if this is associated with the underlying symptoms of pandas/pans or indicative of a much more severe illness like schizophrenia. It's a horrific position to be in. I've found others who have done much to advocate for awareness of depersonlisation but none have described a previous loss of intellectual function. I feel stupid to be honest, I've lost so much. I don't so much have any positive symptoms of psychosis, but at this point I feel pans/pandas is my only hope at finding a long standing explanation to a very isolated and misunderstood 24 year old guy. 

You'd also never believe the girls used to love me.

I have no idea what's happened, I just pray I find a reversible alternative to a life sentence of schizophrenia.

But im sure and very glad your not as bad off as me, I have no one and nothing really. :/

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Read this, I haven't gotten better but this at least offers me hope. The comments are honestly more help. http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/196341/A-very-inspiring-column-about-depersonalization-and-derealization

 

as much as I have read, schizophrenia and depersonalization are not the same. Hopefully we can all get better! Have you worked on your glutamate?

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi DC24,

Thanks for your show of support. No, I haven't managed to work on my glutamate levels, although I have suggested this idea to a psychiatrist who simply won't accept it. The theory has been spearheaded by peer reviewed journals and is currently part of the treatment protocol at a very specialised clinic in London. But again, there is no general consensus on recommended treatment. The condition is often ignored and very much under appreciated. Your right; they're not exactly the same. Although, depersonalization can often accompany schizophrenia as a symptom showing that they can share in part, common etiological mechanisms.

To be honest DC, I hope I can better just as much as I hope you do. Hence, I'm praying that I respond to PANDAS/PANS treatment. That's all you can do at my stage. 🙏 

 

 

Edited by Hitman3161

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 6/21/2017 at 2:19 PM, Hitman3161 said:

Just to add because of the intricate nature of depersonalisation: I've dealt with a ridiculous level of cognitive impairment over the last 3 years. It's very hard to imagine that I was once a high achieving A level mathematics student. The unrelenting brain fog, lethargy and memory impairment has hampered me beyond belief. Still, I'm not sure if this is associated with the underlying symptoms of pandas/pans or indicative of a much more severe illness like schizophrenia. It's a horrific position to be in. I've found others who have done much to advocate for awareness of depersonlisation but none have described a previous loss of intellectual function. I feel stupid to be honest, I've lost so much. I don't so much have any positive symptoms of psychosis, but at this point I feel pans/pandas is my only hope at finding a long standing explanation to a very isolated and misunderstood 24 year old guy. 

You'd also never believe the girls used to love me.

I have no idea what's happened, I just pray I find a reversible alternative to a life sentence of schizophrenia.

But im sure and very glad your not as bad off as me, I have no one and nothing really. :/

 

Hello again! I just responded to your response on my topic haha. If you read my reply to someone else above on that same post you'll see me talk about how I used to be terrified that I would develop psychosis. Depersonalization/derealization is anxiety and you are not going crazy, I promise. My fear of going crazy went away once I started taking a high dose of zoloft for OCD. It may be something you need to come to terms with on your own rather than people telling you that you are not going crazy. I know that no matter how many times someone told me it was just OCD, just denationalization, the fear would return eventually. But that's my experience. Feel free to reach out if you want to talk. Seems like we have a lot in common!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×
×
  • Create New...