handling rages

[BeeRae22]

Dd(9) has been having rage episodes. Again. Somehow it seems almost harder now than when we were in the thick of things and it was happening everyday.... Or maybe it was just as hard then, but those feelings all come rushing back when it happens now, along with PTSD from what we've been through in the past 2 years.

 

How do you handle rages? Dd was hitting me (and it hurts! She's gotten stronger and stronger in the past 2 years!) and kicking me, and was relentless. She's even been putting her teeth on me the past few rages (which she never did before) although she hasn't actually bitten me yet. I put her in her room, which seems to fuel her fire, but there's no way to keep her in there aside from standing there holding the door closed, and I don't feel right locking her in (although I've considered it many times). She's kicked numerous holes THROUGH the door with her bare feet- I've worried (many times) that she's going to end up injuring herself doing this. What other options are there? The past few times I've mostly held her back (with a lot of effort) and we go back and forth-- I put her in her room, hold the door shut for a few minutes, try letting her out, put her back in there, wait a few minutes, open the door, and so on. as you can imagine that's a real fun hour and a half! I need to come up with something else. Consequences, rewards, etc. are a waste of breath..... Anyone have any ideas???

[melmix]

Sounds like my DS, 8. He has gotten so much better but will have these moments. An ABA teacher taught me how to hold him so that he can not hurt me until he

settles down. I think we are going to have to go back on antibiotics or antivirals as the final solution but until then we can only try and avoid the escalation or hold him.

Melmix

DS 8 PANDAS/PANS/Lyme

[sf_mom]

Are you using a daily 'natural' anti-inflammatories? Enhansa, Taurine, Maxi-Flavone are some we have used.

 

Also when our younger son started to ramp up to a rage administering a 'strong' dose of Advil typically helped and fairly quickly. There is prescription Advil double the dose of normal Advil. Perhaps talk to your Dr. about something similar. I found the Advil to shorten the rage and intensity. For us, Advil was always used as needed..... it can be tough long term on the gut. We found the natural anti-inflammatories cut down on the need for regular Advil tremendously.

 

If I remember correctly you are treating for TBI infections. The rages always make me think Bartonella.

[4Nikki]

Just some quick tips that we learned to help curb the intensity. Learn the Combative Triggers: For DD it was restraining her. We found that using big pillows for blocking was far better than trying to hold her which made her even more intense. Rage is blind and can be directed try to find decoys for venting. For DD we found that tearing paper was far easier to clean up than broken windows. Some suggested a punching bag however, We also found that Advil/Ibuprofen helped curb the intensity however Advil cold and sinus worked even better for DD.

[mama2alex]

Once, in desperation, I put my raging 9 yo in the car and drove him to the Japanese tea garden near our house - a place he loved and had been to repeatedly since his toddler years. It was miraculous - he calmed right down. It took some courage to take him out in public at that moment, but for us it worked on several occasions. I don't know if it was the serene environment, being in public, or just the change of location ( or the combo), but just wanted to throw it out there.

[michelleb]

We also found that there were certain things that made the violence worse. Restraining our son just led to head butting, biting, scratching or throwing anything he could get his hands on. Pillows were great for blocking. I have done the holding the door shut thing many times and it is scary. Interacting with him as little as possible during these rages was best. We crated a sort of a safe space in our remodeled basement (that now has holes in every wall) where I took away anything that would hurt to throw - so left soft balls, lips, etc, and tried to make it suicide proof (because my son is obsessed with trying to kill himself). Wears have a camera down there so we can watch from a distance. Leaving him to scream and bang the walls alone has really calmed things.

 

The Advil also works widowers. We tried all sorts of things - from Risperedone, to Seroquel and I don't think any worked as well as bindery and Advil - in high doses which unfortunately is not sustainable long term. Of course the medicine has always been impossible to use while he is in a rage so best bet was really blocking with pillows and trying to stay or get away.

 

I ams with you though.My son stopped the daily rages about a month after plasmapheresis but every now and then he has a mini version (less violent) and I practically have a nervous breakdown. The PTSD is so strong.

[dcmom]

I am so sorry you are going through this. I do think that sometimes the second time around is harder, because you now know there is no easy fix. But, at the same time remember- you got her better once, you can and will get her better again.

 

My younger one also rages. Restraining and locking her in room has always seemed to aggravate the situation. When possible- the best way to handle it has for me to be COMPLETELY calm (I know it is so hard). We also talk a lot about "working together". We talk about working as a team a lot, when she is not raging, so it is a conversation she is aware of. Then (sometimes) it can be helpful when she is ramping up, for me to say I love you- lets work on this together as a team. It takes A LOT of practice- but it has helped diffuse the situation for us.