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OCD is NOT an amusing personality trait!


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OCD is not an amusing personality trait that describes a person who likes things clean opand orderly!!! I know I don't need to say that to anyone here, but how to handle the grating and irritating feeling in the core of my soul that happens when someone close to me describes themselves, or someone else, as having or "being" OCD??

 

I never thought I'd be one of those overly sensitive people that would take offense by comments like that, but in the past 2 weeks I've had 3 people that are close to me (and should know or understand better, but don't!) that this is insulting! I admit that I dont often talk about the OCD behaviors as much as i talk about the RESULT of OCD itself, but I still wish that people could be a little more thoughtful before they speak!

 

Any good come backs that don't cause a problem? I don't want to make a if deal about it, but I can't stand it anymore!!!

 

Sorry for the rant! ;)

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It has become kind a kitchy mainstream "funny" comment in our society as many people consider themselves functioning OCD - just a touch of it, so to speak. I hear it all of the time and used to describe myself as "a little OCD" (which I am) when I worked clinically PRIOR to being married, having children, knowing that PANDAS existed. They mean no harm, just ignorant. When I hear it, it grates on my nerves also but I just walk on. There really isn't anything positive that can be said in a "come back". If you have a close relationship with that person, you could explain your situation and enlighten him/her regarding their offense to you....but the risk could cause more strain than help. My vote is to ignore it and use your own inner dialogue, like "what a @#%^ thing to say. He/she doesn't have a clue!"

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I have OCD and I use humor about it since no one really wants to hear the truth anyway. I would never out right tell anyone in my family that I have intrusive, violent thoughts that I cannot get rid of or that my anxiety is high and my thoughts scatter if my house is cluttered. Nor would I tell them I have to take medication to control those issues. So instead, I tell them of the positive side that my house is usually clean, and I rarely loose items since I know where stuff is, then I chuckle about it. Maybe this is their approach as well or maybe not. Maybe they are just callous or forgetful. Most the time is just a matter of they do not think things through since they CANNOT put themselves in our position.

 

Honestly, most people do not want the real or whole truth about much of anything now days. They do not really want to hear the truth about what any of us go through on a day to day basis with our kids, how it is affecting our own health, our jobs, or our marriages. They do not want to know kiddo screamed for hours until she fell asleep and then hubby and I, frazzled and on edge, got into a huge fight because of all this. Me, being rather private as well, I would never tell them even if they wanted to know :(.

 

I learned to only give a cursory answer to most, which does not include specific symptoms kiddo has. It mostly is "yeah, kiddo is doing pretty well," "heck, she has a sinus infection and no one likes those," or "she just got over a sinus infection and things are looking up," ETC..... I almost always focus on the most positive developments, ie she has been sleeping great lately, school is going pretty well, etc......

 

Personally, I have learned to just keep outgoing information to a VERY BARE minimum. I can process any response I get this way without complications, hurt feelings, or anger.

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Thanks all.... I know. People just don't get it. Funny thing though, is one of my friends that made a comment recently is one of those people that will post things on fb about how you shouldnt do April Fools jokes, etc. about being pregnant, because it's so hurtful to those that have had miscarriages, can't have children, etc and other things like that, so I was tempted to say something to her, because honestly I don't find anything amusing at all about a condition that nearly had my daughter hospitalized because she was afraid to eat, and that tears apart the lives of so many children and their families, and nearly destroyed ours. I'm sure I'll never say anything. I thank God for this board and having the ability to communicate with people tha get it. I can't imagine going through this without the Internet!

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Maybe I have a little different take on this, and maybe it is because my ds is not a small child ( he is 14), But here is how I feel. He knows all about pandas and he understands he is a little different with tics and all, but I always try to make him feel better by telling him that almost everybody has something different about them. Some of it you see outwardly, some of it is emotional, etc..... Some poor children are very sick or hurt and in the hospital. I tell him the last thing he needs to worry about is what others say or do. But anyway, what I am trying to say is that, the more people use the term OCD in a casual way about themselfs, the more " normal" he feels. Why? Because almost everybody says they have some sort of OCD. He can also mention this now as "no big deal" and not feel embarrassed. If he says he is germaphobic because he doesn't drink after others then it is accepted more now because a lot of people admit to being germaphobic. I therefore welcome the idiotic comments from people who think they are OCD and say it proudly. This only helps my son to feel comfortable and accepted for who he is.. And I think who he is.... Is a wonderful, smart, sensitive, and caring child who happens to deal some tics, anxiety, OCD and more.

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At one point in our house, DD was very angry and struggling with her OCD. As I spoke to her about the OCD making her feel that way, she hollered at me that she didn't have OCD, that she was just obssessively compulsive, and that was just who she was. I explained to her that when being obsessively compulsive totally disrupts her life and affects those around her, it is a disorder.

 

When friends who know about DD make those casual comments about being OCD themselves, I smile and say something like "you say that so casually" and hold my smiling gaze until they realize what they just said to me. I have also pointed out that unless it is disrupting their lives, they don't have the "D" part of OCD.

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