T_Anna Posted May 30, 2014 Report Share Posted May 30, 2014 DS16, had a break through on April 2, when he decided he wasn't going to be sick anymore/listen to OCD anymore, etc. That night he didn't sleep on the couch (he was on the couch since January 2013) and slept on his sister's trundle bed. She kicked him out after 4 nights and he took out an air mattress and slept in the room he shares with his brother, on the floor near his brother's bed, Both boys (PANDAS16, notso pandas13), decided they wanted to clean their room. It is cluttered with a ton of DS16s things, and his hoarding clothing, books, toys. DS16 will not wear any clothing that he wore when he was sick and I have purchased new clothing for him (that's easy). My question: Should I just buy a new bed/mattress/bedding for him? Wait for him to figure out what to do (it seems like too big a decision for him)? We are totally in debt, but after all the money we spend on meds/professionals I figure an ikea bed/bedding would be under $400 and may just push him to get off the floor. The air mattress is in terrible shape and annoying to his brother who now only has 6" on personal space (it's a big room). Thoughts?? TIA, T.Anna Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rowingmom Posted May 30, 2014 Report Share Posted May 30, 2014 Could you switch the beds to get the trundle into the boys room? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PowPow Posted May 30, 2014 Report Share Posted May 30, 2014 We have replaced things like this as our daughter improved. I would not underestimate the severe psychological trauma this disorder creates for our kids. My daughter's bed, room, clothing all represented horrible dark times. I would encourage you to consider replacing it if he has similar association. Maybe even paint the room! Give him whatever fresh start may help. We replaced her wardrobe, too. Certain clothes were a bad memory. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T_Anna Posted May 30, 2014 Author Report Share Posted May 30, 2014 (edited) Powpow, so you would buy all new stuff and just make the decision for him? When I ask him, he gets anxious about making a decision, but when I show him something he'll say he doesn't like it. T.Anna Edited May 30, 2014 by t_anna Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
qannie47 Posted May 30, 2014 Report Share Posted May 30, 2014 (edited) I agree with Powwow. If a new bed gives him relief, it is worth it. Decisions: I use this on my one child whom can't make decisions easily, and it also works on his twin who tends to "dislike" things. Instead of an open ended question that leads to a yes or no, I give 2 options and ask, "Which one do you like?". It tricks both of my children into making a decision.... Actually, I use this approach in many scenerios and it has worked very well.... Edited May 30, 2014 by qannie47 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Missmom Posted May 31, 2014 Report Share Posted May 31, 2014 I am always fascinated by these lightbulb types of moments that I hear about on here. So, .... He just woke up and said he did not want to do be sick anymore? I LOVE to hear these types of things, just so hard to understand. How does this happen? I am so excited for him and for you, and I agree you should buy him whatever he wants. Do you think it was puberty? He is 16, so do you feel like he developed physically later or earlier than most boys his age? Is he still taking any meds? Please elaborate for us if you get time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T_Anna Posted May 31, 2014 Author Report Share Posted May 31, 2014 (edited) Missmom, we had done MANY things. Bit two days before his breakthrough he had started CBD Hemp oil (from Bluebird-botanicals.com). I gave him 25 drops in a capsule twice a day with all his other meds and supplements. It was after the fifth dose. We still have a way to go, but this was huge. He showered, washed his hair, the next day wanted it cut, etc. We had tried since February 2013: 8 HD IVIGs, PEX, many abx, anti virals, supplements, steroids and CellCept. We are now also fighting Bartonella/Lyme. He still has a long road ahead, but at least he can leave the house, etc. A few weeks ago we tried lowering the anti viral and that was bad. Good idea Qannie, I will give him a choice if this or that. Thank you PowPow. DS16 said he has terrible memories associated with the stuff and is afraid of all those memories coming back with the clothing or bed. T.anna Edited May 31, 2014 by t_anna Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rachel Posted June 2, 2014 Report Share Posted June 2, 2014 Giving 2 choices does help and also helps with the family budget. So glad you are seeing some improvement. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mayzoo Posted June 5, 2014 Report Share Posted June 5, 2014 When decisions are hard to get from my kiddo, I give kiddo two choices. If she still wavers a lot--and I have to have a choice in a certain time limit, then I tell her if you cannot decide, I will decide for you (I say this politely, but as a matter of fact). About 80% of the time she picks between the two, but even if I have to decide, she had fair warning. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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